AHEAD OF THE GAME
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Friday, November 23, 2007. 1600 GMT
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England In 30 Seconds
O'NEILL RULES HIMSELF OUT
Martin O'Neill has proved that he has exactly the right kind of credentials to be the next England manager. Unfortunately, he's demonstrated his impeccable judgment, loyalty and integrity by turning his nose up at the job. "I am committed here to this job ... I actually love the job," the Aston Villa manager said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2931168.ece
FERGUSON CRITICAL OF FA
Sir Alex Ferguson has criticised the FA for being too quick to sack Steve McClaren. "I cannot understand why they made the decision at 8.30 the next morning," he said. "They don't have a match until February. I just think they should have waited a little bit." Until lunchtime?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2931583.ece
KAISER SPEAKS
There are going to be a lot of stories like this over the next few weeks, so you may as well get used to it. Franz Beckenbauer says that Jurgen Klinsmann is perfect for the England job because he speaks good English.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2931520.ece
GETTING LIPPI
Marcello Lippi thinks his chances of getting the England job are as good as his English. Italy's World Cup winning coach says his failure to master the language means that he has little or no chance of getting the job. Didn't stop Glenn Hoddle, did it?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2931287.ece
CONTENDERS OR PRETENDERS?
Tom Dart on the contenders to replace Steve McClaren. Bearing in mind that the list of eight includes Stuart Pearce and Alan Shearer, it's fair to say they're not exactly queuing up for the job. The really bad news is that those two lightweights are the only English names on the list.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2928237.ece
RANK OUTSIDERS
England have fallen to twelfth in the latest Fifa rankings, which means we won't be among the top seeds for Sunday's qualifying draw for the 2010 World Cup. Still, it's not all doom and gloom: we're still ranked above Romania and Scotland (for now).
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2928909.ece
RUBBING OUR NOSES IN IT
Vedran Corluka, the Manchester City defender, will be playing at home against Reading tomorrow at 3pm. Feel free to turn up and boo the gloating so-and-so after the Croatia player sniggered: "England got just what they deserved." He may be right, but there's no need to rub our noses in it.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2926315.ece
PARALYSED BY FEAR
The FA has promised a "root and branch" review of the national set-up, but Martin Samuel has got there first. Our Chief Football Correspondent on all that is wrong with English football. "For all our bravado and bold pronouncements, we're not good enough," he said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/columnists/martin_samuel/article2926251.ece
The Other News In 30 Seconds
MOVING ON
After a couple of days chuntering under our breath about 4-5-1 formations, players who hold their hands up like they are waiting for a bus when they should be tracking back, pitches so wet that you wouldn't grow rice in them, goalkeepers who can't stop a back pass, dinosaurs on the FA board and some clown hiding under an umbrella, AOTG has borrowed one of Steve McClaren's favourite phrases: we move on. The Premier League is back and we've got all the latest team news. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article2925007.ece
BRUCIE BONUS
Steve Bruce has been confirmed as the new Wigan Athletic manager - although no one has yet explained why he was given a £225,000 advance on his image rights by Birmingham City (answers on a postcard please). Birmingham are poised to announce his replacement, with Ladbrokes having closed the book on Alex McLeish.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article2931006.ece
CURSE OF WEST HAM
Craig Bellamy may need more surgery after failing to shake off a persistent groin injury. "It's so frustrating, a lot of the players we have brought in over the summer just haven't been able to get going, it's just one thing after another," Alan Curbishley said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/west_ham/article2931423.ece
VIDUKA AIMS HIGH
If you don't ask, you don't get. Mark Viduka wants to score four goals against Liverpool as Newcastle United try to get their season back up and running. "It will be very tough [to score four goals]," he understated. "Liverpool are a world-class side." Indeed.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/newcastle/article2931226.ece
BENITEZ WOBBLY
The Bearded One said he was "focusing on coaching and training my team" no fewer than 25 times when asked about his future. The Liverpool manager is so upset after a row about his transfer kitty with the club's new owners that he's thrown his hat in the ring for a job with England. Surely it's not that bad?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/liverpool/article2926284.ece
HUGHES SIGNS ON
Here's one name for Brian Barwick to cross off his list. Mark Hughes has signed a new deal that will keep him at Blackburn Rovers until 2010 - although he's hinted that he would be interested in managing an international team when he's older. Presumably a five-year stint as Wales manager didn't count.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/blackburn/article2929251.ece
O'SHEA SIGNS NEW DEAL
John O'Shea has signed a new contract that will keep him at Manchester United until 2012. He says he's happy to keep picking up big cheques and bits of silverware in exchange for doing a passable impression of Phil Neville and coming on to shore up the defence / midfield with 20 minutes left.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_united/article2930554.ece
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>>>>>FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS<<<<<
* Register today for PlayTheGame - if you do OK you might even get a call from Brian Barwick
* It's free and you can still enter
* Win monthly prizes and tickets to the Euro 2008 final
* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes
VOTE WITH YOUR MICE
After a quick bash at PlayTheGame - we're ranked in the top 200,000 in the country - AOTG feels it's had enough experience of managing in the big time and is ready to help with the selection process for the next England manager.
Admittedly, some of you may feel that we lack a proven track record of delivering and that, like Wayne Bridge, our performances are characterised by poor timing, erratic judgment and a failure to stand up when it matters most - but that's not stopped Brian Barwick getting the gig.
Anyway, unlike the Fat Controller, we're not going to try and do it on our own (and not just because the cupboard of prospective candidates is as empty as Barwick's biscuit tin after the FA board has been round for elevenses).
Instead, we've started a poll. At the moment, The Special One is getting a lot of attention while Jurgen Klinsmann is a surprise outsider. But if you want to make sure we get an English candidate (or approach someone who may actually be interested in the job rather than the swanky title and fat pay cheque) you'd better get in quick.
The result is on Monday - and if you find the person who suggested David O'Leary as a candidate, tell him we're coming for him. Get your voice heard and it only takes a click.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/11/who-should-be-e.html
IT'S NOT THAT HARD IS IT?
AOTG gave you two rules for its competition to sum up McClaren's tenure: three words, no swearing. It's not even as complicated as Scrabble - no triple word scores, no rummaging round a bag for five minutes only to discover you've pulled out Qs and Zs and no vowels. Just any three words you want. In fact, the rules were so simple your average England head coach could probably understand them (if you wrote them on a white board and paid him £2.5 million a year and agreed a suitable severance package).
It should be said, though, that even if you didn't manage to do what was asked of you, at least you entertained us on the way. Unlike McClaren. One of our favourites was Adam Lloyd, who not content with breaking one rule, broke the other one four times.
1. Sh**e 2. Sh**e 3. Sh**e.
And one for luck, in case there is a tie and we use the penalty shoot-out system. Sh**e
If it hadn't broken the rules, it would probably have won the prize (and may still do). But he's not the only one who's struggled. Ian Popadenis was smart enough to write his message in Latin, but despite quoting Julius Caesar, he still couldn't count. "Veni, vidi, your fault."
It still works, mind. Anyway, as some of you clearly didn't understand the ground rules, we've extended the competition for another couple of days. We've had many very clever suggestions, for which we thank you, and have printed a selection of them in Joe Bloggs' Soapbox.
Keep 'em coming because that organic box of vegetables is still up for grabs - and by the time it gets to you it will probably be mouldy enough to hurl at a former England head coach. E-mail: sport@timesonline.co.uk
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>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
BRIT TONY'S MANHOOD SLUR - The Sun
What you need to know: 1) The opera star who performed the national anthems at Wednesday's game accidentally sang "My p***s is a mountain" during Croatia's tune. 2) Tony Henry wasn't boasting, he was meant to sing "You know my dear how we love your mountains" - which sounds like an innuendo anyway - but fluffed his lines. 3) Let's be honest, it hardly goes down as the biggest c***-up on the night.
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A quickie before you go, sir?
MAC ATTACK
AOTG never expected to agree with anything that Piers Morgan (apart from his opposition to the war in Iraq) said. OK, he's still a smug, self-absorbed Me, Myself and I - but this appraisal of Steve McClaren seems more inspired than Nostradamus.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2okNfPfcD0
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0
Number of suitable British managers for The Big Job after Martin O'Neill ruled himself out.
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In TheGame
Kaveh Solhekol says we're better off out of the European Championship anyway - it's just a Mickey Mouse competition. After all, does anyone seriously think Greece are the best team in Europe? And think of all the good things: a summer without WAGS, a new England shirt or a desperate song.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/11/why-were-better.html
Was Steve McClaren's umbrella the most iconic in the history of sport? Probably, but here are five others to compare it with.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/11/five-other-spor.html
Was Wednesday England's most depressing football night ever? It seems 53.1 per cent of you thought it was.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/11/poll.html
"Dear Tony - I used to be considered a promising manager with a big future in the game but 18 months after taking my dream job in London everyone thinks I'm a joker. How do I salvage my career?" Tony Cascarino, football's agony uncle, has been answering your questions - although not even he can work out how to salvage McClaren's reputation.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/11/tony-cascarino.html
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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* 'Golden generation' must take the blame for failure, says FA - The Guardian
* The people's choice: Mourinho The FA's choice: O'Neill. Who knows best? - The Sun
* Count me out: O'Neill snubs England - Daily Mirror
* Momentum builds behind O'Neill - The Daily Telegraph
* Wary O'Neill has Barwick's backing for England job - The Independent
* FA wants Jose - Daily Express
* Count me out: O'Neill rejects the chance to replace McClaren - Daily Mail
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox
Yesterday we put a box of organic vegetables up as a price for the person who could best describe McClaren's reign in three words (no swearing). Here are some of the best replies. The winner will be announced on Monday.
Couldn't. Beat. Macedonia.
Ben Graham
How about 'Malpractice, Rates Sven' which, whilst not very good, the more observant will notice is also an anagram. No prizes for getting "Steve McClaren", but can you work out where the remaining letters 'I S A P A R T' come from?
Mark Alder
We move on - McClaren seemed to say this quite a lot!
Bill Gould
Veni, vidi, exit.
Where's my payoff?
Peter Gartenberg (the best two from a clutch of solid entries)
What I expected.
Adoni Patrikios
Just as predicted.
Matt Keeler
Sadly Predictable Failure.
Scott Martin
And the rest
Can you please tell all the people that want Jose Moan-a-lot-io as England manager that this will mean: 1. England playing 4-3-3. 2. Thin-skinned Frank being first choice in midfield.
It's scary, Bill from Doncaster, but it's got to be better than what we've just had, hasn't it?
So, Steve McClaren is "the only man in the country not to realise Joleon Lescott isn't up to it" [yesterday's AOTG]? What utter c**p! Don't you dare blame Lescott one bit for anything that's wrong with England. Joleon Lescott has been a fantastic signing for Everton, who is allowed to be as much part of our attacking as our defending and is hugely influential and highly capable in both. His England call-up was well deserved based on excellent club form domestically and in Europe, but for England it seems he is banned from crossing the halfway line, which is contrary to his natural game. McClaren's problem is that, as a manager, he's not a patch on David Moyes, and doesn't know how best to use such a talent and develop him into the quality international player he could be.
Glen Wells has a point - and it's well made. We could have used any one of ten names for that spectacularly cheap shot. Having conceded that point, though, we're also prepared to bet that Lescott doesn't play 20 internationals.
You're English, probably a bit upset at your team losing to a team they shouldn't have lost to. Oh well. But did you really have to ignore the Welsh team actually putting in a very creditable performance in Germany? And we didn't lose either!
Cymru Am Byth!
Mike Kerslake signs off in Welsh, we think. That or it's an entry into our McClaren competition. But another fair point.
McClaren and "players" watch Scotland versus Italy, be ashamed and then return your massive wages.
Charles Brigden 's argument has one flaw: would they be handing the money straight back to Brian Barwick and the boys?
It's all right to say that Brian Barwick will be given another chance - BARWICK THE HEAD-HUNTER [headline on yesterday's AOTG] - but surely it must be his head to roll as well as McClaren's? After all, he picked Sven as well! What qualifications and experience does Barwick have to recognise a good English football manager?
Trust us Alan Peake in Johannesburg, if we gave the impression we were happy about the choice of head-hunter, it wasn't intentional. Apologies.
Send your views to: sport@timesonline.co.uk
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Tomorrow's news today
- FA forced to look abroad
- Everyone has a pop at the FA for sacking
- Tony Cascarino on why it WAS McClaren's fault
And expect...
Tony Henry to get a flood of lucrative (and inappropriate) film offers.
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