Ahead of the Game: Don't Lose It Now!

AHEAD OF THE GAME

Alpha mail. The only truly useful football e-mail

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007. 1600 GMT
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The news in 60 seconds

DON'T LOSE IT NOW!
AOTG has spent the day trembling like an HM Revenue and Customs official in front of a select committee. England's Must Not Lose qualifier against Croatia gets underway in four hours' time and our Euro 2008 chances are as precarious as Alistair Darling's job prospects. If you can't face watching the match, if you're stuck at work or you've followed Steve McClaren's example and hidden in the toilet, Tim Meston will keep you up to speed with every goal-line clearance, nervous pass and anxious touch in his live commentary.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/sports_commentary/football/index.html

BECKHAM AND ROBINSON DROPPED
It turns out the England team for tonight's match was about as closely guarded as aforementioned benefits records (to continue a theme). Despite the England head coach's promise to keep his line-up under wraps, we all now know Paul Robinson and David Beckham have been dumped in favour of Scott Carson and Shaun Wright-Phillips.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2910715.ece

McCLAREN'S MOMENT OF TRUTH
Chief Football Correspondent Martin Samuel says that Steve McClaren has shown courage when it matters most by ditching the tried and tested. "Operating 90 minutes from the prospect of dismissal appears to have focused his mind," Samuel writes. Let's hope he's right.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2910670.ece

BARRY TALKING POSITIVE
Gareth Barry has warned England that they can't afford to settle for not losing. "I think we need to approach the game in a positive way because there's nothing worse than playing for a draw," Barry said. "That's when you get into difficulties." England will start with a five-man midfield and only one up front.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2914326.ece

SECOND BEST?
Maybe packing the midfield isn't such a bad idea. Simon Barnes, our Chief Sports Writer, has been doing his best to make us all nervous by pointing out that none of England's back five is an outright first-choice. That's on top of the fact that the manager only got the job because some Brazilian didn't want it. Let's just hope we're not second best on the night.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/columnists/simon_barnes/article2910522.ece

THE BIG DECISIONS
Tom Dart looks at five big decisions that England managers have got right - and five they have got wrong. Has Steve McClaren pulled an Owen Hargreaves out of the hat - or picked another Theo Walcott?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2913204.ece

LUCK OF THE NORTHERN IRISH
Four-leaf clover in one hand, horse shoe in the other and toes crossed - one miracle will not be enough for Northern Ireland tonight, they need two. Not only do they need to beat Spain, they need to hope Latvia can beat Sweden away from home. Nigel Worthington has not given up hope.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2910618.ece

BRUCE HITCH
Steve Bruce and Birmingham City are apparently still wrangling over money, which is why Wigan Athletic have had to delay confirming him as their manager. Wigan are still confident a deal will be done, despite postponing today's "unveiling", and expect to confirm his appointment in the next 24 hours.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/wigan/article2915770.ece

HOLLOWAY RESIGNS
Another of football's worst-kept secrets is out. Ian Holloway is set to become the next Leicester City manager after handing in his notice at Plymouth Argyle. The Plymouth board will meet on Friday to discuss what to do.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/football_league/article2915462.ece

WONDERFUL WALCOTT
Portugal fans were chanting Theo Walcott's name last night - which was a good thing, on this occasion - during England Under-21's draw. The Arsenal forward wowed home fans with a series of mesmerising runs as he helped his team maintain their unbeaten qualifying record.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2911611.ece

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>>>>>FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS<<<<<
* Register today for PlayTheGame - it'll keep your mind off things
* It's free and you can still enter
* Win monthly prizes and tickets to the Euro 2008 final
* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes

DAYLIGHT ROBBERY
AOTG has been known to steal a cheeky five yards at a throw-in or even nick a free kick from time to time (and before you say it, we've got a rap sheet as long as Peter Crouch's left leg when it comes to stealing jokes and other crimes against the English language). But even your artful afternoon e-missive draws the line at shoplifting from a family retail outlet - which is what was alleged about the head of the Croatian FA this morning. Zorislav Srebric, 67, was held by police before tonight's Euro 2008 qualifier after it was reported he had stolen stationery - or nicked a pen, as The Sun put it - from WHSmith in Gatwick.
Sadly from the point of view of our e-mail, he was released without charge after the Croatian Federation pointed out that there had been a "misunderstanding" and that the allegations were "unbelievable". No further action will be taken, meaning all our useless stationery jokes about slide-rule passes and scissor kicks in tonight's match can be ignored.
Nonetheless, if England have their pockets picked tonight or are victims of a smash and grab raid, we'll all know where to look ...

BRAVE DECISION?
As you all know - and are no doubt grateful to hear - AOTG prefers to keep its grubby mitts out of the real issues of selection and tactics before massive Must Not Lose Matches. But it hasn't escaped our notice that - unlike the allegations at Gatwick - one sleight of hand has gone unnoticed. Steve McClaren's decision to drop David Beckham and Paul Robinson has been described as anything from "bold" to a "brave gamble" in today's papers, but don't believe a word of it. The decision has covered up McClaren's timidity. Despite promising to attack, he's effectively picked three centre backs in defence, packed the midfield like a freezer over Christmas and left Peter Crouch up front to forage like a giraffe in the dry season - and covered it up by dropping a couple of big names. Rather than brave, his selection is as courageous as you can expect from a man who watched the last 15 minutes of a pivotal match from behind the closed doors of a toilet.

PAYING LIPPI SERVICE
Marcello Lippi - who took Italy to victory in the World Cup and helped Juventus to win five Serie A titles - has rejected the opportunity to manage Birmingham City, who nearly won the FA Cup in 1931 and 1956. "We made an approach and Lippi turned it down," David Sullivan, the Birmingham co-owner, said while scratching his head, shrugging his shoulders and wondering why. "This is not a stunt. It's genuine." Of course it is. After Paul Jewell and Martin Jol also snubbed his advances, Sullivan is believed to have approached Tony Blair, Sir Alf Ramsey and Beau Brummie the club mascot about a possible job-share. Eric Black is still favourite for the job.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/birmingham/article2914995.ece

SAMUEL'S DEBATE
Martin Samuel asked whether football grounds were a breeding ground for the small-minded in this week's Game Debate and it's fair to say some of your messages (unwittingly) proved his point. Our Chief Football Correspondent uses imagery from National Socialism, comedian Bill Hicks and even American football as he replies to your comments - and one of you still has the temerity to suggest that he's being small-minded. Prepare for a crash-course in social responsibility, peer pressure and terrace taunts.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/11/the-bad-sports.html

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>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
FAN SUES RONALDO - The Sun
What you need to know: 1) Soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo is set to be sued after a fan claimed he stamped on his arm. 2) Evertonian Carl Lloyd alleged the Manchester United player studded him as he leaned over hoardings to retrieve the ball at Goodison Park - and that he couldn't work for weeks afterwards. 3) Police have ruled out criminal charges but Carl wants damages. "I haven't even had an apology," he whimpered.
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A quickie before you go, sir?

GROUNDS FOR CONCERN
Slaven Bilic has been complaining about the pitch at Wembley - but did anyone else see the pitch his team played Macedonia on? Scroll through to 1min 40sec and watch the ball bobble through the mud and wobble across the line. Goalmouths don't get this boggy on Hackney Marshes in February.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhiSBbBMngU

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0
If Croatia don't score, England qualify. Simple.
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In TheGame

Jamie Carragher brings his Scouse nous to bear on the issue of foreign players on TheGame Podcast this week. Matt Dickinson and Mark Pougatch join Gabriele Marcotti and Guillem Balague for a no-holds barred discussion about England's chances of qualifying for Euro 2008 and Steve McClaren's job prospects.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_video/podcasts/thegame/article2902529.ece
Guillem Balague explains how Villarreal are mounting a surprise title challenge in La Liga on the new EuroGame Podcast . Gabriele Marcotti and Dave Farrar also examine the French and German leagues and lead a controversial debate on whether Italians Ultras really deserve their bad reputation.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_video/podcasts/thegame/article2878699.ece
If we did it, we did it because of this man's efforts: Dror Kashtan. Thank the Israel coach while it's still relevant.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/11/send-your-messa.html

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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* The men who must deliver - The Daily Telegraph
* Becks axed ... and Robinson goes too - Daily Mail
* Mac the knife - Daily Express
* Beckham left out as McClaren seizes chance to prove a point - The Independent
* Will we be at EURO BASH or will we be EURO TRASH? - Daily Mirror
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox

Another Liverpool star (the fifth) has had his house burgled recently, but I see no one has had their house done more than once. The burglars must be operating a rotation system...
Tim Donnellan with comfortably the funniest e-mail we've received

Barry-picking aside, I'd be as happy to see McClaren sent packing as the next person. However, don't you think that Fergus Shanahan telling Steve McClaren to hang himself from a lamp post with a Croatian neck tie if England lose was just a little bit on the sick side? I mean, he does have a family with kids. While not on the enflaming international politics scene that AOTG dabbles, it does make your preaching for support of Israel seem tame in comparison.
As you are no doubt aware, AOTG is no arbiter of good taste, but we're inclined to think Joe has a pretty decent point. But then we haven't watched the game yet...

So, the world will have to wait a little longer before it sees the Tartan Army on tournament duty again. The hangover from the weekend has finally faded, but the sense of injustice has not. It was never a foul. AOTG says "life ain't fair", and they're right, of course. I only hope they're just as rational the next time England get pumped out of a tournament on penalties.
Tonight, I will be cheering on England, praying that they qualify safely. Then, I will cross my fingers and hope that Steve McClown manages to keep his job until the summer, since he's done so very well. If Engurland avoid defeat against those pesky Croats, I will be a happy Scotsman.
When Euro 2008 finally trundles along, there will indeed be a team I can support; a group of players I can relate to; a country I can adopt for a fortnight. Yes, rather predictably, I will cheer on anybody who plays against England. That is because I am a petty, shallow, and narrow-minded type, who supports only two teams: Scotland, and whoever England are playing. Especially when it's a penalty shoot-out.
For tonight though, it's a big All the Best from me to Frank, David and Joleon. C'mon England!
If Allan Gillespie thinks he can say all that and we won't mention Italy had a perfectly good goal disallowed and that Scotland's equaliser was off-side, he's fooling himself. And yes, he can get his own back tomorrow when it'll be our turn to whimper like a school boy with a grazed knee.

Send your views to: sport@timesonline.co.uk

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Tomorrow's news today

- Martin Samuel, Matt Dickinson, Simon Barnes, Oliver Kay and Matt Hughes bring the good news (fingers, legs, knees and toes crossed) from Wembley
- Man marking: England v Croatia player ratings
- Miracle or misery: did Northern Ireland make it?

And expect...

The price of flights to Austria and Switzerland to go through the roof at about 10pm tonight

Spread the word. It's like pyramid selling but without the hassle. Click on the following link if you (or your friends) want to subscribe to this newsletter:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2187217.ece

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