Ahead of the Game

AHEAD OF THE GAME

Alpha mail. The only truly useful football e-mail

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Wednesday, November 7, 2007. 1600 BST
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The news in 60 seconds

FERGUSON'S WARNING
Sir Alex Ferguson has taken a break from blaming Arsenal for singlehandedly causing Britain's immigration crisis to warn his players that they will be remembered as "nearly men" if they don't win the Champions League. Manchester United play Dynamo Kiev in about four hours' time.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_united/article2821048.ece

WENGER RINGS CHANGES
It'll be just like the Carling Cup for Arsenal in the Champions League tonight. Arsene Wenger has rested four of his first-choice team as the club travel to Slavia Prague, but he says his team can still get the draw they need to secure qualification. Denilson will fill in for Cesc Fabregas.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/arsenal/article2821049.ece

RONALDINHO GERS UP
Ronaldinho has a social life that makes Prince Harry look like a Trappist monk observing a particularly abstemious vow of abstinence, but Gabriele Marcotti says reports of the Brazil playmaker's demise have been greatly exaggerated. Rangers beware.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/european_football/article2820931.ece

LATEST TEAM NEWS
Brahim Hemdani is expected to fill the breach left by Kevin Thomson's suspension for Rangers, Theo Walcott is ready to grasp a rare chance for Arsenal and Louis Saha is in contention for Manchester United. All the latest team news before tonight's matches.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/european_football/article2813448.ece

DISGUSTING AGUSTIN
Uefa has confirmed it will investigate Agustin Binya's horror tackle on Scott Brown. The Celtic midfield player accused the Benfica player of trying to "do" him after he was chopped down like a silver birch during last night's victory.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/european_football/article2823663.ece

RIDSDALE RANT
A subtle juxtaposition. Peter Ridsdale, who doesn't want to carry the can for Leeds United's financial meltdown, has accused David O'Leary and Martin O'Neill of refusing to listen to the truth. After the pair denied allegations about them in his autobiography he said "the truth hurts".
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/football_league/article2825708.ece

THAKSIN RAISES BAR
Thaksin Shinawatra says that Manchester City can push for a Uefa Cup place. "We are a sleeping giant," the City owner said. "I am glad to be the one to wake that giant."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_city/article2825781.ece

JEWELL ABOUT-TURN
Paul Jewell is prepared to complete the fastest U-turn since the last time Didier Drogba threatened to leave Chelsea. The 43-year-old has admitted that he would be prepared to return to Wigan Athletic, six months after leaving the JJB Stadium because he needed a rest.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/wigan/article2823894.ece

IRELAND'S BUM RAP
Stephen Ireland has tried to kill off his maternal and paternal grandmothers, he's stripped to his boxers in front of 40,038 people and he's refusing to play for his national team - but Manchester City's cheeky Supergran still claims to have a "clear mind".
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_city/article2823507.ece

SPURS CONSIDER GROUNDSHARE
If Daniel Levy thought he was unpopular among Spurs fans after sacking Martin Jol, he ain't seen nothing yet. Tottenham Hotspur have had a meeting with West Ham United to discuss the possibility of a two-year groundshare while Spurs redevelop White Hart Lane.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/tottenham/article2821147.ece

MORE MONEY THAN SENSE
It turns out that it's not only John Terry who is earning "obscene" money. In fact, Captain Courageous only just about squeezes into the top 100 in the game's rich list. The real movers and shakers are in the boardroom, where money is measured in billions rather than millions.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2821026.ece

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>>>>>FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS<<<<<
* Register today for PlayTheGame, more moves than Ronaldinho
* It's free and you can still enter
* Win monthly prizes and tickets to the Euro 2008 final
* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes

THE DEBATE
Martin Samuel has been answering the best and worst comments in this week's postbag. Our Chief Football Correspondent started out by having a go at Gerry Sutcliffe, the Sports Minister, and finished up getting sour about milkmen. "I can imagine it took years of selfless dedication to work out how to drive that little cart and walk up the path carrying bottles. And don't tell me about getting up early because plenty of people do that, too. Nothing against milkmen, but of course a professional footballer has exceptional skills." He also wades into the Gielgud Theatre, the cost of translators at Leeds United and anyone who doesn't understand the basics of market economics. Essential reading.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/11/the-debate-mart.html

STANDING UP FOR CROUCH
While everyone else at Anfield was smiling, smirking and sneering at the bumbling Besiktas defence, The Bearded One sat in his technical area looking like he had just met the love of his life and discovered she was his half-sister. Maybe the sour-faced Spaniard is just hard to please, maybe he's just contrary or (to speculate wildly) maybe he just doesn't like Peter Crouch.
While Ahead of the Game has nothing but love for the forward - even if it's only because he allows us to use both of our dreadful puns - it's well known that Benitez doesn't feel the same way and may be prepared to listen to offers for the forward.
But perhaps it's time for a rethink. OK, he's about as athletic as a tree, his limbs fold like a deckchair and, in comparison to the persevering Dirk Kuyt, his work-rate is as poor as Jan Molby's. But aside from his comic value to AOTG, he has one other notable merit: when he plays, he scores - and more importantly, so do Liverpool.
If we've done our maths right, the stats back up our view. In the 19 Premier League matches that Crouch started last season, Liverpool scored a healthy 34 goals (an average of 1.79 per game). In the 19 games that he didn't start - because he was rested or came off the bench - Liverpool scored only 24 goals (an average of 1.26).
Fair enough, those figures don't tell the whole story because sometimes the team got better when he came off, sometimes he didn't play against the better teams and sometimes he's guilty of bullying poor opposition. But just as that point should be conceded, it should be remembered that 11 of the 24 goals scored without Crouch came in successive matches against Wigan, Fulham and Charlton. Hardly top-draw opposition.
This season, as Liverpool have begun slowly, he's started only one league match (a 0-0 draw with Portsmouth). So the question is: what's Rafa got against Crouchie? AOTG has a theory that began when the Spaniard started growing that goatee (and is probably just as dodgy and about as unfashionable). The beard suggested that the manager was starting to worry about appearance. It implied a degree of narcissism that has been borne out by a rotation policy that seems as much about outfoxing his own players as the opposition. It's as though he wants people to think that players have scored goals because he picked them, rather than because they're good players. How else do you explain the random rotation inflicted on Fernando Torres and the other forwards? And for a man who considers himself to be the tactical equivalent of Rommel, pumping long balls into the box for Crouch to head goals is hardly going to help your reputation grow.
Benitez has described Crouch as little more than an impact player. He's right, of course, just not in the way he meant.
What do you think? Is Crouch the answer to Liverpool's stuttering start to the season? E-mail: sport@timesonline.co.uk

LAMPARD ON RIGHT WING
On a lighter note, an answer to the question of who to put on the flank for England's crucial Euro 2008 qualifier against Croatia on November 21. After all those years fighting over the middle ground with Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard has apparently let slip that he's a right-winger. The Daily Mirror quotes the star as saying that he's a Tory boy. "I don't want to get involved in the campaigning thing but I am a Tory and I really like David Cameron," he apparently said. A true blue then.

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£27 billion
The collective sum sitting in the bank accounts of the top ten on football's rich list.
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A quickie before you go, sir?

FILTHY TACKLE
If you are wondering why Scott Brown has accused Agustin Binya of trying to break his leg, this video nasty should help clear it up. Like Roy Keane on Alf Inge Haaland but with added bite.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6NXeegtvBs

TOO KEANE
AOTG doesn't like to revel in the pain of others but, by way of comparison, here is the original hatchet job. Keano exacts his revenge on the then Manchester City midfield player.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJuxKrnTP-k

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>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
POMPEY STAR DJIMI TACKLED FOR £2,000 - The Sun
What you need to know: 1) Portsmouth star Djimi Traore was marched off a training pitch by bailiffs yesterday - over £1,906 in unpaid council tax. 2) Heavies turned up at the club's training ground and threatened to clamp his Range Rover unless he paid up. 3) According to a spokesperson for the council, Traore "thought the club were paying his bills", which is as good as the time Rio Ferdinand forgot about that drugs test.
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In TheGame

"Damn you, Chelsea. Damn you to hell. Why couldn't you just have the good grace to do what everyone was expecting you to do - collapse - and save me any more emotional investment in this season?" And that's a Chelsea fan's view on his team's resurgence. Also in Fanzine Fanzone, our Wigan man wonders whether trigger-happy Dave Whelan has jumped the gun by firing Chris Hutchings.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/fanzine_fanzone/
From Peter Ridsdale's goldfish to the Don Revie era, Rick Broadbent reveals his 50 moments in the Soul of Leeds United .
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2819379.ece
On TheGame Podcast , Kia Joorabchian explains how Carlos Tevez is taking lessons in Scouse to understand Wayne Rooney and why footballers could earn too much for their own good. Gabriele Marcotti and Guillem Balague lead the best team on the web.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_video/podcasts/thegame/article2792288.ece

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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* 8-0: Benny and the Liverpool net busters - Daily Mirror
* It's Rafa Ben8tez - The Sun
* Turkey shoot: Rafa bullish after Reds rout - Daily Mail
* The eight wonders - Daily Express
* 8-0: Liverpool romp to record triumph - The Daily Telegraph
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Tomorrow's news today

- Chelsea crisis worsens with Cech blow
- Bolton prepare to face Bayern Munich
- Plus all the reports and reaction from tonight's Champions League matches

And expect...

Sir Alex Ferguson to propose a limit on the number of foreign managers, except Scottish ones

Spread the word. It's like pyramid selling but without the hassle. Click on the following link if you (or your friends) want to subscribe to this newsletter:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2187217.ece

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Anonymous tips, suggestions, funnies, fan mail and complaints: sport@timesonline.co.uk
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