Ahead of the Game: Big Draws For Big Clubs

AHEAD OF THE GAME

Alpha mail. The only truly useful football e-mail

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Friday, December 21, 2007. 1600 GMT
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The news in 60 seconds

BIG DRAWS FOR BIG CLUBS
"It's going to be tough but there are no easy ones at this stage." On any other day, Rick Parry's bland statement would be dismissed as another cup platitude, but Liverpool have been drawn with Inter Milan, Arsenal play AC Milan, Manchester United take on Lyons, Chelsea face Olympiacos and Celtic square up to Barcelona. More tricky than Samurai Su doku after a bottle of super-strength sake.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/european_football/article3082579.ece

NO BALLS UP, JUST CONFUSING
The Champions League draw was so complicated that Tom Dart found himself longing for the no-nonsense simplicity of the FA Cup. Arsene Wenger will probably be having similar misgivings after a draw that was as tough as it was inevitable. Reaction to the draw.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/european_football/article3082765.ece

UEFA CUP DRAW
Any tournament that has a group stage from which three out of five teams qualify - that's like 15 Championship teams getting promoted - and then gets bolstered by teams who couldn't cut it in the proper tournament, is ridiculous. But we still have to cover the draw. Tottenham play Slavia Prague, Everton take on SK Brann, Bolton play Atletico Madrid, Rangers get Panathinaikos and Aberdeen meet Bayen Munich.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/european_football/article3082948.ece

LAWRIE'S NOT HARDY
Lawrie Sanchez has been sacked by Fulham. Not content with dressing like an FBI agent - in this case, FBI stands for the Fulham Bureau of Ineptitude - Sanchez created a team who played as badly as he dresses. The Cottagers are in the bottom three and the club said that "losing its Premiership status is a proposition that simply cannot be contemplated".
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/fulham/article3082279.ece

2 + 2 = A JOB FOR COLLINS
Fulham have released this statement: "The club is confident that it will find the right replacement to increase its chances of remaining in the Premiership, which is of vital importance." John Collins - as opposed to Collins John, who is on loan at Leicester - resigned from his job as Hibernian boss yesterday. He's favourite for the job.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/scotland/article3080702.ece

FERGIE'S PARTY LINE
There must be two Sir Alex Fergusons. Sir Alex Ferguson says that Sir Alex Ferguson knows how to handle the fallout from the alleged goings-on at Manchester United's ill-judged and sordid Christmas party. "I have nothing to say about the events of the week," he said. "Why would I say anything? Alex Ferguson has been dealing with situations like this for 21 years - and I know exactly what we do."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article3084066.ece

UNITED'S ANGOLAN DIAMOND
Manchester United have signed Manucho from Angola. "He is a tall, agile, quick forward and through contacts that Carlos [Queiroz] has, was brought to our attention around six months ago," Ferguson said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_united/article3084061.ece

BERBATOV NOT FOR SALE
Dimitar Berbatov is not for sale at any price, according to Damien Comolli, Tottenham's sporting director. "We have never had any talks with Manchester United - and as Juande Ramos has stated, we want him to stay," Comolli said. "It's not an issue. I don't think there is a price for him."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/tottenham/article3083777.ece

POT, KETTLE, KEANE
Roy Keane has backed Sensitive Sol's complaints about the behaviour of fans. "Sometimes it is over the top, but what can you do about it? Are you going to eject 40,000, 50,000 supporters for abusing a player or a manager?" Keane, who once stamped on a player's knee, walked out on a World Cup after a tirade of abuse and was known for chasing 40 yards after referees, said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/sunderland/article3083521.ece

NO IFS FOR BUTT
Big Sam has hailed the influence of Nicky Butt after the midfielder signed a one-year contract extension that will keep him at Newcastle United until the end of next season. "Nicky has been magnificent for us this season when his experience has been invaluable," Allardyce said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/newcastle/article3083633.ece

DRESSING DOWN FOR DERBY
"Thierry Henry started wearing his socks over his knees and all of a sudden you see players at all levels doing it," Paul Jewell, the Derby County manager, said. He wants Robert Earnshaw to roll his sleeves up and Giles Barnes to leave his socks down.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/derby/article3080589.ece

PREMIER LEAGUE TEAM NEWS
Chelsea are waiting on the fitness of Andriy Shevchenko, Michael Johnson is still a doubt for Manchester City, Robbie Keane is back for Tottenham, Emile Heskey is poised for a shock return to the Wigan Athletic line-up and Stewart Downing and Gary O'Neil are doubtful for Middlesbrough. All the team news for the weekend's Premier League matches.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article3078878.ece

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>>>>>FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS<<<<<
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* It's free and you can still enter but this is your last chance
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If you've got another couple of minutes

SANTA'S SACK: WE HAVE A RECORD!
Christmas records are meant to be fun little ditties sung by former soap stars, reality TV contestants or Cliff Richard. But on this occasion we have a record - or a joint No 1, if you prefer - with a difference. After Lawrie Sanchez was given the boot by Fulham, the Premier League has now equalled its own personal best for most pre-Christmas managerial changes. Admittedly, it's not going to get you singing along drunkenly at your Christmas party like Mistletoe and Wine (or eight pints of lager), but here's the list of managers to have moved on so far this season: Jose Mourinho (Chelsea), Martin Jol (Tottenham), Steve Bruce (Birmingham), Billy Davies (Derby), Chris Hutchings (Wigan), Sammy Lee (Bolton) and Sanchez.
Interestingly, Sunderland are the only club in the bottom six not to have changed their manager. What are the odds on Keano, Gareth Southgate, Alan Curbishley or Big Sam joining Santa's sack race before the season is out to give us an outright record?

WINTER BREAK!
AOTG has always considered itself to be a footballing pioneer - hence the confident title of this e-mail - so while the FA may dither about the introduction of a winter break, we are taking direct action. We are bringing ourselves into line with the major European nations by introducing a two-week period of R&R that will enable you (and us) to rest tired limbs and spend time with families. Trust us, it's not our choice.
Anyway, as everyone knows, at this time of year keyboards become heavy and waterlogged, the cold makes typing fingers more susceptible to injury and readers become disillusioned with lame jokes about early Christmas presents and belated New Year's resolutions.
Aside from allowing us to eat our own body weight in chocolate log, turkey and mince pies, the break will also leave us fresh and revitalised in order to report on the European Championships in the summer ... oh. In any case, we return on January 7.

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>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
THREE MAN U STARS ROASTED GIRL NO 2 - The Sun
What you need to know: 1) Three Manchester United players "roasted" a drunken girl reveller at their seedy Christmas party. 2) They cheered on each other with shouts of "Get in there" and "Well done son" during the shameful session. 3) After a few minutes the men filed out laughing and rushed downstairs for more booze while the girl came out bragging, "They said I was great in bed." 4) It's another proud day for football.
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A quickie before you go, sir?

HOW TO TACKLE...
After yesterday's rant about two-footed tackles, here's an instructive video for Peter Crouch, Steed Malbranque, Denilson et al. Some of these players even win the ball, which we gather used to be considered an essential part of the tackle.
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/football/video/xy8aj_best-football-tackles_sport

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31
After AZ Alkmaar's defeat last night, Ipswich Town now boast the longest current unbeaten home record in Europe. The Dutch side had passed the East Anglian club's record last month but the defeat has handed the record back to Ipswich, whose record is still in tact.
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In TheGame

Statistics so complicated they would confuse a fully qualified accountant. Bill Edgar , The Times resident football genius, with a compilation of his top 50 stats from 2007.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article3075231.ece
Tony Cascarino , Times Online's very own agony uncle, on how to keep fit over Christmas, improve your shooting and much more.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/weight-loss-imp.html
Tottenham fans get in the mood for Christmas, our Boro man worries about the transfer window while our Man City fan has sparked some angry replies after ruffling the feathers of the big four. Fanzine Fanzone .
http://timesonline.typepad.com/fanzine_fanzone/
Join the debate on TheGame Podcast blog . Guillem Balague and Gabriele Marcotti have been answering your comments after another successful show.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/grand-slam-sund.html

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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* Crouch: Obi took the Mik - Daily Mirror
* They've all got it Klin for me: Rafa after new deal as Jurgen waits - The Sun
* Liverpool owners in race against time for loan - The Daily Telegraph
* FA backs national centre but it may not be at Burton - The Independent
* Crouch fires back: Obi's play-acting got me sent off, fumes Liverpool striker - Daily Mail
* Foreign divers taking Mikel - Daily Express
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox

Anyone else think Lawrie Sanchez is interested in the Hibs job?
We like the cut of Amar Purohit 's gib, although we think it's only fair that Graeme Souness gets a mention as well. He always does, for every job, regardless.

What Oliver Urpi neglected to mention [yesterday's AOTG], perhaps he didn't know, was that Arsene Wenger's spending for Arsenal last year on foreign players was the same amount as that spent by Manchester United on foreign players. Don't let the facts get in the way of a good rant, though. However, it would appear that Man U spent more on their Christmas celebrations.
We think - although we'll leave you to judge - that Paul Underwood has actually strengthened the case for Oliver's army of stats. Oliver was saying, we think, that Wenger is not so much a nurturer of talent as a purchaser ... just like Fergie. Anyway, it's worth it for the payoff line - good work.

How to stop the two-footed tackle:
* dock that week's wages if they are sent off
* throw them into the stands with the opposition supporters
* make them play the rest of the game naked
* have their mum watch the tape, which would probably lead to no supper and an early bed time
* the tackled player could get a free shot at the offender
* sentence them to five games with Derby County - in goal
Matt McGraw shows an imagination that we can only admire. We merely add the naughty step, as suggested by one of our previous (and esteemed) letter writers, for tradition's sake.

You can e-mail us at sport@timesonline.co.uk if you like - but we won't be reading it for at least a couple of weeks.

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Tomorrow's news today

Wenger takes a swipe at Terry
Injury-hit Spurs prepare for North London derby

And expect...

Not to receive an e-mail for a couple of weeks. This time it won't be because it's late, but because we'll have our slippered feet up, smoking a pipe and sharing a mince pie with Santa, surrounded by a gaggle of his beautiful elven helpers. Before returning to the real world.

The new registration process is up and running, so it's like pyramid selling once again. Spread the word.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/tools_and_services/subscriptions/e-mail_bulletins/

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Ahead of the Game: FA Approves Complex

AHEAD OF THE GAME

Alpha mail. The only truly useful football e-mail

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Thursday, December 20, 2007. 1600 GMT
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The news in 60 seconds

FA APPROVES COMPLEX
The FA has just approved plans for a multimillion-pound National Football Academy at Burton-on-Trent. "Everyone involved in the FA's coaching and player development structures believes that a national football centre is vital to the long-term health of English football," Sir Brooking said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article3079305.ece

CR-OUCH HITS BACK
Peter Crouch has said that he has "no excuses" for his sending-off against Chelsea last night - but added that John Obi Mikel "went down like he was shot". "What I'm thinking is if you go in on Frank Lampard or John Terry would they roll around like Obi Mikel did?" Crouch asked. "Would someone like Carra have gone down like that? I think it's safe to say that he wouldn't." Would Mikel have gone down if Crouch hadn't jumped into him like he was auditioning to become a break-dancer? We think it's safe to say that he wouldn't.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/liverpool/article3079175.ece

BIRMINGHAM DEAL DIES YEUNG
AOTG will no longer have to write tedious stories about how Carson Yeung's proposed takeover of Birmingham City is in the balance (touch wood). The club announced on the Stock Exchange this morning that they have ended talks with the Hong Kong businessman.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/birmingham/article3077286.ece

LEHMANN IS LEMON
Like a good pantomime villain, Calamity Jens is at his most amusing over Christmas. Lehmann has claimed that he is being unfairly treated by Arsene Wenger. "My coach confirmed my impression that he uses a different measuring stick to evaluate Almunia," the German said in his latest rant about his colleague, who has never gone on German TV and sarcastically applauded his "dear coach".
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/arsenal/article3078642.ece

TRIESMAN GETS TOP JOB
The perfect appointment for the FA. Lord Triesman, who it was announced today will become the first independent chairman of the governing body, is a minister in the Government department of Innovation, Universities and Skills - attributes the England team are clearly lacking.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article3078725.ece

BELLAMY AVOIDS OP
Craig Bellamy will not need an operation on his stomach strain, according to Alan Curbishley. "We've locked him away with the physiotherapist and the fitness coach to work as hard as he can and to try and recover," the West Ham manager said. Nothing to do with keeping him (and his golf clubs) out of trouble during the Christmas party season, then.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/west_ham/article3079069.ece

FA REJECTS SPURS APPEAL
The FA has dismissed Tottenham's appeal over Didier Zokora's red card. Spurs are now so short of defensive cover that the club are even thought to be considering giving Younes Kaboul a game at centre half.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/tottenham/article3079176.ece

FANS RESENT WEALTH, SAYS HUGHES
Mark Hughes says fans are resentful of the amount of money players are earning. "I think maybe there is a little bit of disdain for footballers, more dislike from possibly the perception that they earn vast amounts of money," the Blackburn manager said, forgetting that it's not the perception that they are overpaid, so much as the fact.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/blackburn/article3079262.ece

SOLSKJAER GETS BENEFIT
A nice, happy story. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has been awarded a benefit by Manchester United. The forward, who retired after failing to shake off a longstanding knee injury, has been rewarded for his long service to the club. The match will form part of next season's pre-season tour, although no date has been set.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_united/article3078099.ece

O'NEILL TO REINFORCE
Martin O'Neill admits that his Aston Villa squad is too fragile to survive the rigours of winter and has promised to strengthen. "For January, we think things aren't moving too badly," he said. "All I would say is that we would be trying to pursue some avenues."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/aston_villa/article3079315.ece

VIEIRA'S BEAUTY CONTEST
Patrick Vieira says that Arsenal play more attractive football now that he has left, although La Grande Saucisse stops short of saying they are a better team. "This current team play better football than in our day," he said. "Whether that means they are going to win something is another story." http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/arsenal/article3078004.ece

JEWELL'S PRIDE LARK
Paul Jewell, the Derby County manager, on his new club, who have six points from 17 games so far: "I'm not prone to outlandish predictions, but this club can establish itself in the top ten, the top eight of the Premier League." We're not prone to outlandish predictions, either, but we think his club are more likely to establish themselves in the Fizzy-Pop Championship. So there.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/derby/article3076013.ece

GIBSON BACKTRACKS
Steve Gibson contacted The Times yesterday to put the record straight about his opinion of Steve McClaren after he criticised the former England head coach. "Despite their accuracy, my comments did not represent my thoughts and assessment of Steve's five-year period at Middlesbrough," he said. AOTG has been outside and checked. Despite the frost, the grass is still green.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/middlesbrough/article3076015.ece

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>>>>>FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS<<<<<
* Register today for PlayTheGame - what better Christmas present for someone you love?
* It's free and you can still enter
* Win monthly prizes and tickets to the Euro 2008 final
* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes

SPICE GIRLS, TOP BOMBING AND TWO-FOOTED TACKLES
Like cycling, corduroys, cranberry sauce, The Spice Girls and Led Zep, two-footed tackles are back in vogue. Just when you thought that like girl power and greasy-haired rockers, the coward's challenge had been retired, it's launched the biggest comeback since ... well, see above.
Peter Crouch's "horror" tackle on John Obi Mikel was just the latest in a week that has seen Denilson and Steed Malbranque jumping into tackles like they were trying to bomb the school nerd on a school trip to the local swimming pool. And that's without mentioning Stephen Ireland, Stephen Hunt and Robbie Keane, who have all shown more studs than courage this season.
But while the sight of Crouch throwing his legs around Mikel was a bit like seeing a man trapped in a deckchair, we at AOTG are obliged to take it more seriously than that. As Emmanuel Eboue's fierce tackle on John Terry proved at the weekend, people can get hurt with these kind of kitchen-sink-and-devil-the-consequences challenges. It's only a matter of time before someone has their eye out.
So the question is, what can the FA do to stop this scourge? Rafa Benitez's suggestion that the whole palaver would have been avoided if a foul - sorry, Rafa, two fouls - had been awarded earlier is the most naïve notion since someone entrusted Rio Ferdinand with responsibility for organising the Christmas party.
But driving the challenge out of the game is clearly not as easy as you would think. The FA has already taken action. Perpetrators of said challenge are routinely given a red card and a three-match ban, but they just keep leaping back in.
So what can the FA do to stop players doing this before it gets serious? Send your suggestions to sport@timesonline.co.uk

SOL DESTROYING INSULTS
Is anyone else curious about the abuse that set Sol Campbell off in a rage yesterday? According to one well-placed source who was at Fratton Park on Saturday, Sensitive Sol got off lightly (certainly compared to the stick he's received at Spite Hart Lane in recent years).
The only abuse that our insider heard, and he was listening out, was a fairly tedious and unpleasant song that goes something like "Sol Campbell, you're a c***". It was repeated every time he went up for a corner or found himself next to the visiting team's fans.
Admittedly, if the BBC can try to bleep out "faggot" in a popular seasonal song, the little ditty is unlikely to make it to the Christmas No 1 slot, but surely Sol must have heard worse.
Maybe he just doesn't like losing to Spurs, something that never happened to him when he was at Arsenal.

HORSES FOR COURSES
Anyway, on a lighter note, it's good to see that Captain Courageous is living up to his reputation. John Terry may be ruled out for four to six weeks with a broken metatarsal, but it appears as though the Chelsea and England star is going to try to run it off. John Terrry, the horse who our colleagues on the racing desk tell us is a useful middle-distance handicapper on the Flat, makes his hurdling debut in the 1.40 at Ascot tomorrow.

STAT-TASTIC CHRISTMAS
Loosen up those synapses in anticipation of Bill Edgar's top 50 stats of 2007. Edgar, football's answer to Albert Einstein, has produced the statistical equivalent to the theory of special relativity, a work of intellectual magnitude that pushes back the frontiers of our understanding of the beautiful game. Find out why Dario Gradi was more of a manager than the rest of his Championship counterparts put together, why a Tottenham-West Ham match bore similarities to a Beatles comeback tour and revel in the proof that Lee Bowyer and Scott Parker have more in common than a game of keep-uppy in McDonald's.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article3075231.ece

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>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
FERGUSON BANS CHRISTMAS - Daily Mirror
What you need to know: 1) Sir Alex Ferguson has banned team Christmas parties in the wake of the rape claim against one of his stars. 2) A source said: "Fergie was seething. The sort of night they had will be a thing of the past." 3) Barns, bolting, horses, stables, doors. In any order you want.
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A quickie before you go, sir?

CRAZY FREE KICKS
A selection of the best goalscoring moves from free kicks - and David Nugent somehow scores one of the best of them. More movement than the Red Arrows, more cunning than Baldrick and lots of goals.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZwN9UiXdvs

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268
Since June 1984, England have played 268 matches but none in South America (one from Bill Edgar's top 50).
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In TheGame

Tony Cascarino, Times Online's very own agony uncle , has been answering your questions. Why Jack Charlton makes for a rubbish Under-9s coach, how bin bags don't really help you sweat it off (a hamburger in each hand doesn't count as a balanced diet, either) and why hitting the wall could be the answer to "Joe Cole's" dismal shooting record.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/
It's Guillem Balague's turn to reply to your posts on TheGame Podcast blog . He explains why youth policies are a waste of time if the coaches aren't up to scratch. And the debate about Don Fabio and the Mafia jokes continues...
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/grand-slam-sund.html
Martin Samuel, our Chief Football Correspondent replies to your comments in the debate about whether Liverpool are a big club in Europe.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/the-debate-ma-2.html
Sol Campbell's comments about his abuse have sparked a healthy debate on our blog - but if Sensitive Sol is looking for some support, he'd be better off ringing Garry Richardson (again).
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/debate-is-sol-1.html

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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* Baddy long legs! Crouch sees red - The Sun
* Shevchenko has last word as Crouch sees red - The Guardian
* This is England: a country where football enjoys excess in all areas - The Independent
* Cr-ouch ... Liverpool out after striker sees red for horror lunge - Daily Mail
* Red card: Liverpool's stadium plans in jeopardy as banks block American owners - The Daily Telegraph
* OVER THE TOP ... Crouch shame as Chelsea pile on misery for Rafa - Daily Mirror
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox

My heart bleeds for the poor lad [Sensitive Sol]. What is it about these soft sensitive southern sometime Spurs players? It started with the workshy Mido complaining about some witty banter from The Toon fans at Boro earlier in the season and now it's the super thin-skinned Sol. Let's take away the atmosphere and the fans and whoops there's no TV and no ridiculous wage packets. That should give him something to moan about!.
We're not sure we'd dismiss the abuse suffered by Mido quite so readily, let alone call it witty, but we're with Andy Horrocks from Newcastle apart from that.

How much does he earn? 30k a week? People could shout at me for a few hours a week for that kind of money!
If only Adam Guest was right. Sadly, we suspect Sad Sol wouldn't get out of bed for that.

I may be in a minority, but I have long felt that abuse of players (and managers and referees) has been getting out of hand.
It seems that many "fans'" main reason for going to a game is to hurl mindless, spiteful vitriol at all and sundry, with the express objective of eliciting some sort of reaction which enables them to complain to stewards (or the BBC) and demand the arrest of their "victim" (for waving or blowing a kiss or something equally harmless).
While booing a former player who might have left in circumstances which called their loyalty into question (as undoubtedly was the case when Sol left Spurs) is pretty understandable and should be ignored by the players, some of the personal abuse is rather harder to dismiss.
I wonder at the intelligence of some of these "fans" who seem to have little interest in the performance of their team, but seem intent on causing upset in a wholly distasteful and unacceptable way to their targets.
Why can fans spend 90 minutes acting like animals then call for their target to be arrested when they react - whatever happened to fair play and sportsmanship?
By the way, I am 45, so I don't feel that I come from a "different age", i.e. like a dinosaur, but I do feel that I had to come out in support of the players in this case.
It's good to have a different point of view and Chris Parker's point is valid. However, we prefer this next one.

"Sportsmen and managers are trying to do their job professionally and people are abusing them verbally. It has gone too far." - I guess Sol hasn't noticed the abuse which players direct towards the match officials when they are trying to do their jobs. At least players don't get surrounded by fans screaming in their faces, close enough to feel the spit which comes out of their mouths!
If only Sean Cronin worked for The Today Programme.

I'm sick of hearing how good Arsenal's 'young guns' are. Why has nobody actually taken a close look at this team, where they all come from and how much they actually cost.
Of the starting 11 against Blackburn in the Carling Cup only two were English, Justin Hoyte and Mark Randall. Everybody has been banging on about a lack of decent young English players. Has anybody seen a connection? Also, people seem to think that this young Arsenal team is somehow the product of some kind of youth system. That is just not the case.

1. Fabianski - Polish - bought in last year from Legia Warszawa, probably for around £2m although Arsenal chose to keep the fee to themselves.
2. Hoyte - English - a true product of the Arenal youth system.
3. Traore - French - bought in from Monaco for around £1m.
4. Senderos - Swiss - bought in from Servette for around £2.5!!!
5. Song - Cameroon - bought from Bastia for £1m.
6. Randall - English - youth
7. Diaby - French - bought from PSG for £2m
8. Denilson - Brazilian - bought from Sau Paulo for £4m
9. Diarra - French - bought from Chelsea for £2m
10. Eduardo - Croatian - bought from Zagreb for £8m
11. Bendtner - Danish - bought from KB - undisclosed

So if we look at the facts, Arsene Wenger has not got a good youth system at all. What is actually happening is that he is buying young players that have been developed at other clubs, for large sums of money. The team against Blackburn was worth at least £22m in transfer fees!!
We're happy to give the floor to Oliver Urpi and maybe we should applaud the club's scouts not coaches. Any dissenters?

Joe Bloggs' England XI:

GK: Carson, S
LB: Cole, A
CB: Terry, J
CB: Ferdinand, R
RB: Richards, M
DMC: Hargreaves, O
LMC: Barry, G
RMC: Gerrard, S
AMC: Rooney
SC: Heskey
SC: Owen
4-1-2-1-2 formation.

Hargreaves in front of the back four to provide some cover on counter attacks, Rooney behind a front two. Hargreaves and Barry to cover right and left backs respectively when the full backs go forward. When in possession, Hargreaves to push up into central midfield, Gerrard to push up to attacking midfield and Rooney to push up to striker. When the opposition have all the possession, Rooney to slip back to left midfield to support Barry, Hargreaves and Barry go deep to help the full backs.
Noble Francis with a formation so flexible that we'll call it the yoga.

Somebody hit the "italic" button halfway through typing today's AOTG, eh?
Paul Hemmings spotted our deliberate Christmas font yesterday. Honest.

AOTG was earlier than usual in the inbox today at 17.30. But it was yesterday's edition. Maybe the Christmas post is holding things up, even on the web.
Sorry about that Stanton . Believe it or not, we didn't get ours yesterday - and we sent the b***** thing. We blame Santa - ever since he signed for Blackburn he's been much more unreliable.

Send your mail to: sport@timesonline.co.uk

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tomorrow's news today

- What the FA's new centre of excellence means for England
- Jinxed King out again
- Full report as Everton take on AZ Alkmaar

And expect...

An Armani-clad Capello to say he wouldn't be seen dead in Burton.

The new registration process is up and running, so it's like pyramid selling once again. Spread the word.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/tools_and_services/subscriptions/e-mail_bulletins/

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Anonymous tips, suggestions, funnies, fan mail and complaints: sport@timesonline.co.uk
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Ahead of the Game: Evans Questioned

AHEAD OF THE GAME

Alpha mail. The only truly useful football e-mail

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, December 19, 2007. 1600 GMT
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The news in 60 seconds

EVANS QUESTIONED
Jonny Evans, the 19-year-old Manchester United defender, has been released on bail after he was questioned by police today over allegations that a woman was raped at the club's Christmas party. Evans volunteered for questioning after a 26-year-old woman claimed she had been the victim of a sex attack. United have declined to comment.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_united/article3073171.ece

£4,000 A HEAD FOR TAINTED PARTY
United players forked out £4,000 a head for their ill-fated Christmas party. The players booked the hotel for their exclusive use, hired security guards, ordered the WAGs to stay away and partied through the night with 100 models and dancers.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_united/article3071119.ece

FESTIVITIES MUST BE SCRAPPED
"The festive footie knees-up may be traditional, like turkey and mince pies, but it has to end. I may sound like Scrooge with all his humbug, but I cannot see any other solution." Tony Cascarino calls time on the seasonal festivities after yet another scandal.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_united/article3071041.ece

TORRES THE KOP IDOL
Fernando Torres may be the fastest thing on Merseyside since Michael Owen, but he still can't escape comparisons with King Kenny. "Many years down the line when I eventually leave Liverpool I would like to be held in the same affection as these players [Dalglish and Robbie Fowler], but I've got a long way to go, so I'll leave them on their pedestal at the moment," Torres said diplomatically.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/liverpool/article3074439.ece

SPURS APPEAL
It seems as though no one was happy with Steve Bennett's performance in the Carling Cup quarter-final last night. Tottenham Hotspur have launched an appeal over Didier Zokora's red card while Richard Dunne, the City midfielder, has launched a tirade about the official after he was denied a penalty.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article3074146.ece

CHILD'S PLAY FOR WENGER
Arsene Wenger says that the latest crop from the Arsenal nursery are good enough to win the Carling Cup after they beat Blackburn Rovers in extra time last night to reach the semi-finals. "We want to finish the job now," Wenger said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/arsenal/article3074451.ece

DJOUR OUT OF HERE
Johan Djourou will return to Arsenal at the end of his loan spell at Birmingham City. The Switzerland defender is wanted as cover for Kolo Toure, who will join up with Ivory Coast for the African Cup of Nations. "He will be a loss, for sure," Alex McLeish said. "It is disappointing that he is not going to be with us for much longer." http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article3074086.ece

HOPE FOR BANGURA
Al Bangura has been handed a lifeline to stay in the UK after the Government agreed to allow Watford to apply for a work permit. Bangura would not normally be eligible because Sierra Leone are outside the world top 70 and the midfielder has yet to earn a cap, but Liam Byrne, the Home Office minister, has made an exception.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/football_league/article3074231.ece

COPPELL TO SPEND
Steve Coppell, whose idea of extravagance is probably an extra mince pie, will be given money to spend in the transfer window. "With the January window less than a fortnight away, we have started to home in on specific targets and conversations with clubs are progressing," Nick Hammond, the club's director of football, said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/reading/article3073913.ece

SWEET NFA
The FA will decide tomorrow whether to proceed with the National Football Academy (NFA) at Burton or continue with the same ramshackle coaching and management structure that has proved so successful over the past 41 years. Nick Szczepanik looks at the options.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article3071107.ece

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>>>>>FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS<<<<<
* Register today for PlayTheGame - and don't wait 'til January to start trading
* It's free and you can still enter
* Win monthly prizes and tickets to the Euro 2008 final
* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes

SENSITIVE SOL
Sol Campbell is outraged by the verbal and psychological abuse that he suffers from Spurs fans and claims it amounts to a violation of his "human rights". The Portsmouth player, who was last seen not wearing an orange jumpsuit and not being bundled on to a plane with his hands tied behind his back at a remote airfield in Scotland, was so upset that he rang the BBC today to complain about his treatment at Fratton Park on Saturday.
"I think the FA, PFA and even the Government should get involved because these situations are happening at sporting arenas," Campbell said in a phone call not from his cell in Guantanamo Bay. "If this happened on the street, you would be arrested. This is the 21st century and this is a human rights situation where sportsmen and managers are trying to do their job professionally and people are abusing them verbally. It has gone too far."
It is unknown whether he has brought his case to the attention of Amnesty International, who will surely take up the millionaire's cause once they have sorted out child soldiers, secret executions in Nigeria and the whole messy business of the worldwide arms trade. They have already rushed T-shirts into production with the slogan "Sol-idarity for footballers".
His lawyer is also understood to have flown to Brussels to discuss how European constitutional law can be used to ban fans at footie matches from shouting nasty things at former players, although he has yet to explain how banning fans from expressing themselves would be reconciled with Article 10 of the European Convention on Human Rights. That's the right to freedom of expression.
Harsh or fair? Send your views to: sport@timesonline.co.uk

LEFT BACK IN CHANGING-ROOM
AOTG thought Steve McClaren's decision to play Joleon Lescott at left back was the most bizarre decision in history, but it turns out that was just the beginning of the wally with the brolly's folly, at least according to Robert Green. Not only did McClaren struggle to tell the difference between a (limited) centre back and Nicky Shorey, he couldn't distinguish between a right-footed goalkeeper and a left back.
"I have, somewhat bizarrely, played more training sessions with England as a left back than in goal," Green wrote in his newspaper column today. "Many an hour has been spent with me petrified of making one of my trademark clumsy challenges on David Beckham or Shaun Wright-Phillips and being hounded out of the country for ruining England's chances of progressing."
Like Scott Carson and Paul Robinson, perhaps? Maybe McClaren should have tried one of the left backs in goal. Maybe he did.

THEGAME DEBATE: LIVERPOOL NOT A BIG CLUB
Martin Samuel has been called xenophobic, blamed for the demise of Jose Mourinho at Chelsea and attacked for the shortcomings of his argument. In fact, his only supporter seems to be a Reading fan. Our Chief Football Correspondent replies to your comments - but prepare for a shock. He seems to have been overtaken by seasonal cheer.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/the-debate-ma-2.html

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>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
BECKS AD PANTASTIC - The Sun
What you need to know: 1) Goldenballs David Beckham really does have the Midas touch. 2) A week after he got his tackle out for the Armani ads, boxer shorts have been relegated to the subs' bench. 3) The £15 briefs have sold a whopping 260 per cent more than usual. 4) Which is appropriate, because the pants in question seemed to have doubled in size for the photoshoot, too.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A quickie before you go, sir?

FIVE-A-SIDE LESSON
It just goes to show, even Premier League stars can learn something from your average five-a-side league. Mark Noble and Anton Ferdinand are meant to be coaching the two teams but scroll forward to 1min 08sec and there's a nifty bit of skill that leaves the West Ham players dumbstruck.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OXSR3Aa06Q

RONALDO SKILL-FEST
But it doesn't compare to this ... Cristiano Ronaldo showing the skills that pay the bills. What's more, he's only the second best in the studio...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbqUl8XseC8

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70
Number of red cards at Arsenal under Arsene Wenger after his team's latest off night.
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In TheGame

A few of our brave readers have tried to placate Gabriele Marcotti, but it hasn't worked. He explains why he's still getting worked up about Don Fabio and other Mafia jokes as he responds to your comments on TheGame Podcast blog.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/grand-slam-sund.html
As the Tottenham vultures hover over the Riverside, Stuart Young, our Middlesbrough fan, tells Fanzine Fanzone why it could be time to cash in on Stewart Downing - it's that or risk losing an even more exciting young talent. Elsewhere, Wyart Lane , our Tottenham man, explains how Christmas came early for his team.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/fanzine_fanzone/
Did you know? Bill Edgar on one-season wonders, a statistic that proves Wigan Athletic are as bad as Watford and the bizarre case of Manchester City's home comforts.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/did-you-know-2.html

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* Carragher snubs Capello call - Daily Mail
* I've nicked Nic: Avram's £10m claim - The Sun
* Brown + Saha + £6m = Berbatov - Daily Mirror< /EM >
* Saha swap for Berbatov - Daily Express
* Carragher snubs Capello - The Daily Telegraph
* Eduardo's extra class shoots young Gunners into last four - The Independent
* Eduardo strikes to send 10-man Arsenal through - The Guardian
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joe Bloggs' Soapbox

My XI would be:

GK: Robinson
DL: Cole
DC: Terry
DC: Ferdinand
DR: Richards
ML: Rooney
MC: Hargreaves
MC: Joe Cole
MR: Wright-Phillips
FC: Owen
FC: Crouch

Bit controversial with rooney playing wide left, but i think it suits him much more than playing as a forward. and i'd love to see joe cole reprising the paul scholes role playing behind the front 2.
Nathan Caplan offers up an England XI without Lampard or Gerrard. We know we asked you to pretend to be England manager but it seems you've gone the full nine yards and lost the plot....

Send your mail to: sport@timesonline.co.uk

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tomorrow's news today

- Matt Hughes reports from Chelsea's Carling Cup showdown with Liverpool
- Watford put case against Bangura deportation

And expect...

AOTG to be arrested after chaining itself to a fence outside Fratton Park in solidarity with Sol.

The new registration process is up and running, so it's like pyramid selling once again. Spread the word.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/tools_and_services/subscriptions/e-mail_bulletins/

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Anonymous tips, suggestions, funnies, fan mail and complaints: sport@timesonline.co.uk
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Times Newspapers Ltd is a member of the Direct Marketing Association and registered under the Data Protection Act 1998. To see our privacy policy, click here.

Ahead of the Game

AHEAD OF THE GAME

Alpha mail. The only truly useful football e-mail

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday, December 18, 2007. 1600 GMT
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The news in 40 seconds

POLICE INVESTIGATE UNITED 'RAPE'
Police are investigating allegations that a woman was raped during the Manchester United Christmas party last night. A 26-year-old called 999 claiming she had been sexually assaulted at a luxury hotel that the squad had hired out for their celebrations. There has been no immediate comment from United.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article3069345.ece

WENGER DUCKS BAN
Arsene Wenger has escaped further punishment after serving a one-match Champions League ban for his spat with the fourth official during Arsenal's defeat by Seville (after apparently saying he had a good reason not to go and sit in the stands).
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/arsenal/article3069383.ece

WHAT A TOZER
Ben Tozer hasn't even signed for Newcastle United yet - let alone trained with them - but Big Sam is ready to ship him out on loan. The Swindon Town starlet, 17, is preparing for a £1.1 million move to the North East, but Allardyce said: "There is a possibility Ben will be allowed to go out on loan."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/newcastle/article3069567.ece

BENITEZ ON MESSAGE
The Bearded One is sticking to the party line - say as little as possible to friendly media outlets while stroking his chin - over his talks with Liverpool's co-owners. "The conversation was very fluid because we were face to face, whereas it's more difficult over the phone or by e-mail. My English isn't always the best," Benitez told the club's website in near-perfect English. Rick Parry denies there is a transfer embargo.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/liverpool/article3069396.ece

SORENSEN WANTS OUT
Thomas Sorensen, who is out of contract at the end of the season, has thrown the toys out of his pram at Aston Villa. "I am simply not interested any more," he said. "Villa have shown that they have no interest whatsoever to invest in me." It's got nothing to do with Arsenal's reported interest, of course.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/aston_villa/article3069547.ece

MUNTARI PLEDGES FUTURE
Sulley Muntari has underlined his commitment to Portsmouth, despite talk that Liverpool are preparing a bid for him. "I'm happy with the performances from me and the team," he said. "I don't care if people don't recognise me. If they recognise Pompey that's great."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/portsmouth/article3069638.ece

TERRY'S BAD BREAK
New manager, familiar problem. Fabio Capello has yet to start his job as England manager but he will already have programmed Chelsea's club doctor into his speed dial. John Terry will be out for six weeks after breaking bones in his foot and is likely to miss the new manager's first match in February.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/chelsea/article3065829.ece

BUT OSMAN PLAYS ON
So much for Captain Courageous. Leon Osman, the Everton midfielder, broke a bone in his toe but didn't even break stride. "He was in a bad way but still wanted to play," David Moyes said after the player was injured in the first five minutes of the Carling Cup tie against West Ham last week but went on to finish the match and also play in the teams' league meeting on Saturday. Proof that Terry is, in fact, a wuss.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/everton/article3068416.ece

BIRMINGHAM GIVE UP ON TAKEOVER
Birmingham City's takeover is (still) not going through and the likelihood of it happening is about as remote as Fabio Capello's chances of learning English in a month. "As far as I am concerned, the deal is dead in the water," David Gold, the club's co-owner, said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/birmingham/article3068186.ece

CARLING CUP TEAM NEWS
Elano is expected to be fit for Manchester City's match against Tottenham this evening, while Arsene Wenger is ready to give his fringe players a runout against Blackburn Rovers in tonight's other match. All the Carling Cup team news.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article3062607.ece

Capello's hello in 20 seconds

LIPPI SERVICE TO STARS
Marcello Lippi, Italy's World Cup-winning coach, has told Don Fabio to wield the axe. "In order to make a team you may also need to drop an important player that perhaps is not [on] the same wavelength as the others," he said. Such as Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article3067907.ece

IT FEELS LIKE A DEFEAT
England have got a foreign manager and a foreign player (Owen Hargreaves), so why not a foreign board? Martin Samuel says England should appoint the French equivalent of Dave Richards or replace the entire FA board with ten Italians - then we might get an English manager.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article3065564.ece

BAD LANGUAGE
Syntactical errors could be as important as tactical boobs, according to Gabriele Marcotti. Our European Football Correspondent was on hand to witness Don Fabio's first press conference yesterday and there were signs that his message could get lost in translation.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article3065725.ece

LAST WORD ON TALK SHOW
"So where do you draw the line? Should we refuse to allow players to seek medical assistance for footballing injuries from anyone other than English doctors? Should we stick to steak-and-chips nutrition, or should we give players spaghetti alla carbonara?" Simon Barnes on the notion that the FA should have appointed an Englishman.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article3065635.ece

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS<<<<<
* Register today for PlayTheGame - it's the same in any language
* It's free and you can still enter
* Win monthly prizes and tickets to the Euro 2008 final
* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes

SCENTED CANDLES, A TUXEDO, WAYNE AND A LOAD OF SCHMALTZ
Before we start this section, let's be clear about something. AOTG has a policy that normally precludes it from buying any magazine that ends in an exclamation mark (OK! LOOK! HELLO!), just as we rule out reading any publication that describes Coleen as a model (she's a WAG! OK!) or thinks that it's a good thing England were knocked out of Euro 2008 because Wayne Rooney can now get married in June!
But after instructions from our esteemed (and patently perverse!) boss, we were told to swallow what's left of our already dishevelled journalistic pride to find out what Rooney had to say in today's world exclusive in HELLO!
So after smuggling £1.90 worth of glossy magazine into the office like it was imported Dutch pornography, we set about flicking through picture exclusives of "Strictly star Gethin" and his new partner Katherine Jenkins ("The handsome Welshman even impresses the beautiful mezzo-soprano with a quick display of his fancy footwork"), Anna Ryder Richardson posing in a mansion the size of the Outback after her I'm A Celebrity ordeal ("many viewers commented on how toned she looked") and Martha Louise of Norway (we've never heard of her, but apparently she's "Europe's most unusual princess and believes in fairytales").
And there, crammed on to only 11 pages, is a spread that would make Posh and Kecks seethe with envy (and send AOTG rushing to the nearest lavatory for a technicolour yawn). One minute, Rooney is pictured alongside Coleen, smiling happily, wearing his finest V-neck jumper and surrounded by scented candles. The next, he is wearing a tuxedo and holding a glass of Kristal in front of a mammoth 22-foot Norwegian Christmas tree that looks like it's been nicked from the Arndale Centre. Only a page later, he's taken off his bow tie and changed into an open-neck black shirt to pose with a Christmas present. The smooth devil could even get a job modelling winter jumpers for C&A!
But in case anyone thinks this is just celebrity promo tat, the couple - who the mag tells us "fell for one another when he mended her bicycle chain" - also reveal that they are good, honest, salt-of-the-earth, just-like-you-and-me-but-with-a-bit-more-cash people.
Their wedding, Rooney says, "is not going to be a big celebrity affair, because we just aren't like that. It's all about our family and our old friends. Of course, there will be some players from England and Man U. They may be famous but they're my mates first and foremost."
We obviously don't need to explain to our esteemed readers the irony of using a celebrity magazine to say that you're not a celebrity (although we just used a sentence to say we didn't need to say something that we then said, which in itself is an irony that would not be lost on Wayne). Anyway, we'd better draw to a close with a positive: with no Euro 2008 to look forward to, Wayne and Coleen can not only enjoy a relaxed honeymoon, they can also sell their wedding pictures to HELLO!

THEGAME PODCAST
Guillem Balague has an exclusive with a difference on this week's show. Instead of telling us the outcome from the big showdown talks at Anfield, he can reveal ... nothing. That's because he's heard that the five people who attended the meeting have all signed a confidentiality agreement, meaning they won't spill the beans on the tete-a-tete (or should that be cabeza-e-cabeza?). Sadly, he doesn't tell us who broke the confidentiality agreement to tell him there was a confidentiality agreement, but some things must remain, err, confidential.  Simon Barnes, The Times chief sports writer, also joins the show to explain how Don Fabio can avoid going through the tabloid food blender and coming out as a vegetable, while Matt Hughes has the inside line on events at Chelsea. And as if expectations weren't already high enough in Manchester, Bill Edgar has a stat that will make City fans dream of the Champions League.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_video/podcasts/thegame/article3046907.ece

TEAM DEBATES
A new era, but the same old story. We asked you to select The People's England Team and you've done just that. As George Caulkin, our esteemed colleague suggests, the concept was "aimed at showing Don Capello what we're made of. And, apparently, what we're made of is huge egos, big wages and past failures."
The team is virtually identical to the one that flopped under Steve McClaren. The only real surprises are that Calamity James is back between the sticks and that you'd rather have David Beckham in the team than Thin-Skinned Frank.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/the-times-onlin.html

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
CRISTIANO COCK-UP - Daily Mirror
What do you need: 1) Cristiano Ronaldo was involved in an embarrassing mix-up at the Fifa World Player of the Year gala in Zurich. 2) The Manchester United winker was handed the prize for second place - then forced to hand it to Lionel Messi in front of a star-studded audience after it emerged he had actually finished third. 3) It's embarrassing but at least he missed the club's Christmas party.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A quickie before you go, sir?

A LOAD OF KAKA
Still wondering why AC Milan's mercurial Brazilian Kaka pipped Ronaldo to the title of world player of the year? The highlights package from this year's award show is as long as the accompanying soundtrack is as atrocious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBJKjRnm3YI&feature=related

TROPHY STRIFE
And that awards ceremony. Ronaldo looks slightly sheepish as he is forced to swap his trophy, then change places in the line-up with Lionel Messi. The awards ceremony from the 2007 world player of the year.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqigDTuTe8U

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8
Eight of the past 12 world players of the year gongs have been awarded to Brazilians.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In TheGame

In Fanzine Fanzone, our Manchester City fan delights in ruining Richard Keys' big day by gate-crashing Grand-Slam Sunday while our Chelsea man says that if he had fallen as far as Andriy Shevchenko he would be sitting in a hot bath with a packet of Wilkinson blades in one hand and 400 Nembutal in the other. And that was him skipping over the problem of the mis-firing forward. The voice of the terraces and it demands to be heard.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/fanzine_fanzone/
Liverpool are not one of the big clubs in the Champions League, at least according to Martin Samuel in this week's debate . Our Chief Football Correspondent says the yardstick for big clubs is still domestic dominance.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/the-debate-live.html

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* Discipline and form the key, warns Capello - The Guardian
* THE IRON FIST: Capello begins his reign with warning - Daily Mail
* GODFATHER: Capello will use iron fist to keep any ideas of mob rule in check - Daily Express
* VISION OF THE FUTURE: Capello insists he will restore pride in England's football team - The Independent
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joe Bloggs' Soapbox

Just to let you know that the £44 million takeover of my favourite footie team, Ipswich Town, went through yesterday. Amidst all this talk of foreign ownership it is good to note that the new owner, Marcus Evans, is British!
Richard Morbey

Send your mail to: sport@timesonline.co.uk

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tomorrow's news today

- Benitez to be given money to spend - just not much
- Centre par excellence? The rights and wrongs of Burton
- James Ducker and Oliver Kay report on the night's Carling Cup action

And expect...

AOTG to be caught taking out a subscription to a glossy magazine. It's a Christmas present.

The new registration process is up and running, so it's like pyramid selling once again. Spread the word.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/tools_and_services/subscriptions/e-mail_bulletins/

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Anonymous tips, suggestions, funnies, fan mail and complaints: sport@timesonline.co.uk
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If you no longer wish to receive the Ahead of the Game Bulletin, please click here to unsubscribe. If you wish to speak to a Customer Services Repesentative, please call 020 7860 1133.

You have received this e-mail from a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia Street, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International Group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.

Times Newspapers Ltd is a member of the Direct Marketing Association and registered under the Data Protection Act 1998. To see our privacy policy, click here.

Ahead of the Game: Capello's England Vows

AHEAD OF THE GAME

Alpha mail. The only truly useful football e-mail

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, December 17, 2007. 1600 GMT
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The news in 60 seconds

CAPELLO'S ENGLAND VOWS
Fabio Capello's translator has promised to return England to the top of the game. "It's a job that everybody wants and everybody knows there are great expectations with the job and I will work to achieve these with the FA," the translator told a packed press conference.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article3063054.ece

SOLID START FOR DON FABIO
At the very least, England will be difficult to beat if they give away as little as their new manager, says Matt Hughes. Capello is determined to keep his squad (and David Beckham) sweating as he weighs up his options before his first match in February.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article3063985.ece

TOKEN ENGLISHMAN
As a symbolic gesture, the appointment of an Englishman to Capello's backroom staff would be about as meaningful as the poppy Sven-Goran Eriksson wore at his first press conference. Martin Samuel on why an English coach would be little more than a hanger-on.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/columnists/martin_samuel/article3060426.ece

EBOUE APOLOGISES
Emmanuel Eboue has apologised for the tackle that injured Chelsea captain John Terry, according to his Ivory Coast team-mate Salomon Kalou. "He didn't mean to do it, but to apologise was a nice thing to do," Kalou said. Terry could be out until the new year.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article3063234.ece

BENITEZ PEACE
AOTG is focusing on training and coaching, so we can't bring you news about The Bearded One's much-hyped meeting with Liverpool's new owners. All we know is that the club issued a statement saying the "the discussions were amicable and constructive", which sounds disappointingly low key.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/liverpool/article3060158.ece

HUGHES SEES RED
Mark Hughes says that the big clubs get it easy. "I watched the [Arsenal v Chelsea] game yesterday and some of the tackles that were flying in were tackles that, maybe if Blackburn Rovers players were making similar tackles, then there would have been red cards involved," he said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/blackburn/article3064091.ece

'ARRY'S GOT A SMALL ONE
'Arry Redknapp wants it known that his squad is down to the bare bones, again. The Portsmouth manager says he's got no money to spend and will have to try and wheel and deal if he's going to bring anyone in.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/portsmouth/article3064187.ece

NERY EXPENSIVE
Manchester City have been told they will have to pay £3.5 million just to sign Nery Castillo, the Shakhtar Donetsk forward, on a year's loan. "A one-year loan - five million euros and there will be no options, meaning a right to buy [Castillo]," Rinat Akhmetov, the club's owner, said. Rolando Bianchi says he wants to stay and fight for his place.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_city/article3062509.ece

ADIEU MATHIEU?
Mathieu Flamini, who is out of contract at the end of the season, is exploring his new-found negotiating power after becoming a first team regular at Arsenal. "I have been talking a bit with the club," Flamini said. "I am happy here, but I am a free agent in January."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/arsenal/article3063268.ece

LUTON DENY CHARGES
Luton Town have pleaded not guilty to all 1,217 charges alleging breach of regulations regarding payments to agents. We've already had one slap on the wrists from the lawyers, so we're not going to say anything apart from good luck to them.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/football_league/article3062952.ece

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>>>>>FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS<<<<<
* Register today for PlayTheGame and we won't throw a golf ball at you
* It's free and you can still enter
* Win monthly prizes and tickets to the Euro 2008 final
* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT FABIO'S PRESS CONFERENCE
Flashes going off like a strobe light at a disco, journalists (and Brian Barwick) salivating like they'd just seen a piping-hot plate of chicken wings pulled out of the deep-fat frier and TV reporters jostling over the microphone like Newcastle players fight over a penalty ... that's right, Don Fabio was finally presented to the ravenous press corps today.
Admittedly, the Italian was nowhere near as revealing as David Beckham's latest poster campaign, but he did give us a few hints about what we can expect over the next four and a half years. Here's a brief synopsis of the salient points.

* So much for speaking better English than expected. Don Fabio is still at the point where he rhymes honoured with red and says quaint things such as "at this moment my English is not so well, but I prefer to answer in Italian". Still, it's a start - he understood a number of questions put to him in English and he reckons he'll be able to learn the lingo in a month. If he can teach Joe Cole the language, that'll be real progress.

* Half-time will have to be expanded from 15 minutes to 45 if he is going to use the same interpreter. Capello actually achieved a first by saying less than Steve McClaren in twice the time. He managed not to answer a variety of questions in Italian, such as who he would support if it was England against Italy, whether David Beckham would get his 100th cap and why the FA had appointed a foreigner.

* He did, however, manage something his predecessor couldn't do in more than two years -provide a laugh that wasn't laced with bitterness. Capello was asked if it was true that he had punched Paolo Di Canio. He said he didn't ... but after a brief pause ... added in an ominous tone that he was there when it happened.

* He has always wanted to be the England manager, ever since he was growing up in San Canzian d'Isonzo, Italy, and even when he was playing for his country. He didn't say whether he regretted scoring that goal at Wembley in 1973.

* He wants to have an Englishman - or at least someone who knows the league - involved in his set-up. He didn't say who.

* It's only a part-time job, so Capello says he may have to be less of an authoritarian. He's even promised to sit the wee lambs down and find out why they don't feel loved. "Wearing the England shirt should be a matter of pride," he said, showing that clichés are the same in any language.

* There was no umbrella in sight.

* He dismissed suggestions that he had never signed any English players. "When I was a scout I brought Ray Wilkins and Mark Hateley to AC Milan and as you know I worked with David Beckham," he said. No one pointed out that Hateley and Wilkins played in Italy more than 20 years ago.

* He says the style England adopt will depend on the players available. He added that it's important to be flexible, in case anyone was wondering what sort of tactical acumen they got for their £4.8 million a year.

THEGAME DEBATE
Liverpool are not one of the big clubs in the Champions League, at least according to Martin Samuel (so don't send your irate letters to us). Despite reaching the final twice in recent years and lifting the European Cup in 2005, our Chief Football Correspondent says the yardstick for big clubs is still domestic dominance - and Rafa Benitez has yet to prove that his team's success in Europe is more than an anomaly.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/the-debate-live.html

FOSTER IN DEMAND
England's goalkeeping predicament is so dire that 21.3 per cent of Times Online readers (at the last count) want Fabio Capello to pick a goalkeeper who isn't even available. Ben Foster hasn't played since May because of a knee injury and probably won't be fit when England play in February, but that hasn't stopped a fifth of you from voting for him instead of Calamity James, Frank Carson and Paul Robinson. You probably have a point.
The biggest surprise, though, is in midfield. In another crushing blow to Thin-Skinned Frank's ego, 87 per cent of you want Stevie Me in midfield while 75 per cent of you want Owen Hargreaves alongside him. Less than 30 per cent want poor Lampard.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/forget-capello.html

THEGAME PODCAST
Simon Barnes, Chief Sports Writer on The Times, joins Gabriele Marcotti and Guillem Balague to discuss what the appointment of Capello means to English football. Is the legendary Italian the man to lead England to glory? The team discuss how an injury to Petr Cech may have caused him to flap at that cross and also report on a confidentiality agreement between Rafa Benitez and the Liverpool co-owners. Online from 6pm.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_video/

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>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
MAN UTD TURN TO THE BIBLE - Sunday Mirror
What you need to know: 1) Manchester United's Red Devils are being delivered from the evil of defeat by Bible readings. 2) Players such as Wayne Rooney and Ronaldo are hearing the word of God during training in the hope that it will give them extra motivation. 3) They are claiming that the word of God worked a miracle for Rooney, whose right ankle has healed from a bad training injury much faster than expected.
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A quickie before you go, sir?

PREMIER LEAGUE HIGHLIGHTS
Check out William Gallas's dodgy Mohican (and that winning goal), make your own mind up whether Torres's miss was worse than Rooney's, witness Darius Vassell scoring (really), plus the best of the goals from the JJB Stadium. Free Premier League highlights.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article2236741.ece

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4
Manchester United equalled Everton's 97-year record as the only side to keep four successive clean sheets at Anfield in the league.
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In TheGame

There were eight obvious reasons why the JJB Stadium was the place to be on Saturday, but Bill Edgar, the biggest brain in football, has found a couple more. Edgar also explains why hat-tricks are back in fashion and details Liverpool's losing trend against Manchester United. The weekend in numbers .
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/tony-cascarin-1.html
In Tony's Fiver , Cascarino wonders why Cesc Fabregas was so keen to clatter Ashley Cole and explains why another victory for Manchester City has forced him to chew on a large slice of humble pie.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/tony-cascarin-1.html
Alan Carr has a rummage around in Goldenballs' Armani pants and finds out what's making him swell with pride. The Topical Barometer .
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/alan-carrs-to-1.html
In QA, Barry Davies tells Kaveh Solhekol why fans are unlikely to hear his commentary on Match of the Day any time soon - despite an internet campaign to get him back where he belongs.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/qa-barry-davies.html
With only one win so far this season, some festive cheer for Derby County fans. Smashing eight past Tottenham, turning over Real Madrid and winning the FA Cup ... just three of The Greatest Derby County Games .
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/the-greatest--1.html

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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* CHARGE! V-sign Cole is facing FA rap ... Fergie: Ain't no stoppin' us now - The Sun
* In the clear: Gallas strikes to keep Arsenal top; Tevez makes sure United are on their tail - Daily Mail
* Then there were TWO ... Fergie: We're the favourites ... Gallas fires top Gunners - Daily Mirror
* COLE IN V-SIGN ROW - Daily Express
* Sign of frustration: Chelsea and Liverpool lose ground in title race - The Daily Telegraph
* Gunners defend high ground - The Independent
* Wenger hails 'winner' Gallas as Chelsea crash - The Guardian
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox

It's amazing how someone who wouldn't even be able to get a job in McDonald's (a working grasp of the English language is a pre-requisite) can waltz into one of the top jobs in the country and get paid £6 million a year for it!
Alex Thompson from London must be talking about Fabio Capello . Gordon Brown doesn't get paid that much...

Send your mail to: sport@timesonline.co.uk

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Tomorrow's news today

- No one is safe under Capello
- Crossing the language barrier: why the Italian must tread carefully
- Prognosis looking bleak for Captain Courageous

And expect...

To see Don Fabio flicking through English language phrase books in WHSmith.

The new registration process is up and running, so it's like pyramid selling once again. Spread the word.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/tools_and_services/subscriptions/e-mail_bulletins/

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