AHEAD OF THE GAME
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Monday, December 10, 2007. 1600 GMT
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The news in 60 seconds
CURBISHLEY A 'HERO'
His words, not ours. Alan Curbishley thinks that fans view him in the same light as Bobby Moore, Trevor Brooking, Billy Bonds and Paolo Di Canio after steering West Ham United to the dizzying heights of tenth. So not at all like a latter day Glenn Roeder, then. "I did say a year ago there was a short term brief to try to stay up, and a long-term brief to build the club, and that's what I'm trying to do," he said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/west_ham/article3029840.ece
OWEN ON MEND
Michael Owen has moved a step closer to his next injury after Big Sam confirmed that the forward will return to full training this week. Although Saturday's match against Fulham will come too soon, the Newcastle manager is optimistic that he will play against Derby County in two weeks' time.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/newcastle/article3029747.ece
GERRARD KEYED UP
Steven Gerrard has issued a rallying cry before Liverpool's Must-Not-Lose-Or-We're-Out-The-Champions-League match away to Marseilles tomorrow. The midfield maestro says that Liverpool are confident they can progress after their recent performances in the tournament.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/liverpool/article3029587.ece
BENITEZ SHRUGS OFF DEFEAT
Liverpool fans who made the 426-mile round trip to Reading on Saturday will be delighted to hear The Bearded One's dismissive appraisal of the defeat. "Tuesday [against Marseilles] is like a cup final, not like Reading, where you can resign yourself to losing three points," Benitez said. Next time save the petrol.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/liverpool/article3026349.ece
MAD HATTERS
How about this for a win bonus: the Luton Town players could even get paid if they beat Nottingham Forest in the FA Cup tomorrow. Kevin Blackwell's squad have been playing for free after the club went into administration last month, but victory would secure a money-spinning tie with Liverpool - enough to pay them some of what they're owed. No pressure then.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/football_league/article3029785.ece
MUNTARI'S MOVING APPEAL
It's not only desperate Premier League managers who have misjudged the strength of their squad leading the call to move the African Cup of Nations, at least according to Sulley Muntari. "I'm praying the tournament is switched to the summer in future so we can play for our clubs all season," the Portsmouth midfielder said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article3029494.ece
UNITED'S PARK STRIFE
Park Ji Sung could be back in action before Christmas after Sir Alex Ferguson revealed he has pencilled him in for a return against Everton on December 23. "He'll be back in the fold in about two weeks' time," Ferguson said. "He's a terrific young player and his return will be a boost." Ferguson has also admitted verbally abusing Mark Clattenburg during the team's defeat by Bolton Wanderers last month.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_united/article3028529.ece
HUGHES WON'T SPEND
Mark Hughes says he will keep his credit card on ice during the January sales. The Blackburn Rovers manager says that his squad is strong enough to go the distance - despite winning only one of their past six Premier League matches.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/blackburn/article3029794.ece
McLEISH IN MONEY
Alex McLeish has been promised money from the Birmingham City board, even if Carson Yeung's takeover doesn't go through. "Presuming we are still the incumbents at the time he wants to buy, then we will support the manager with squad strengthening," David Gold, the chairman and co-owner, said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/birmingham/article3029727.ece
CAPTURING CAPELLO
The FA is training its sights on Fabio Capello after reaching the end of its tether with The Special One. The governing body has already spoken to the Italian legend and is set to meet him this week to discuss the role further. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/columnists/martin_samuel/article3026335.ece
SLOW AND STEADY LOSES RACE
Martin Samuel says if England don't get Mourinho there's only one man to blame - The Fat Controller. "If Mourinho turns England down, put simply, Barwick blew it," Samuel says. "He blew it because he did not find out on day one whether the best man for the job was interested."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/columnists/martin_samuel/article3026367.ece
QUOTA VOTER
Gordon Taylor, whose public outpourings normally contain more hot air than a zeppelin, has called for an introduction to quotas on foreign players. "The bottom line is very simple: older, ready-made foreign players are blocking young English players' path into the Premier League," Taylor warns.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article3026389.ece
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>>>>>FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS<<<<<
* Register today for PlayTheGame - it's more gripping than the hunt for the next England manager
* It's free and you can still enter
* Win monthly prizes and tickets to the Euro 2008 final
* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes
GOODBYE MOURINHO
If AOTG was a tabloid newspaper, it would celebrate the news that Jose Mourinho has snubbed England's advances with a "ragout" of a previous e-mail showing how we predicted that the Portuguese's flirtations were about as sincere as Marc Bannerman's attempts to crack on with Cerys Matthews in the jungle.
The ragout - an image of a previous story, not to be confused with a popular brand of pasta sauce - is the industry's traditional way of saying, We Told You So. Sadly, our Commodore 64 can't replicate such new-fangled things as graphics (although we can use it to play Daley Thompson's Decathlon, which is nice), so we'll have to be content with saying We Told You So.
Admittedly, working out that Mourinho was more interested in a Big Club than a part-time job coaching a side without a competitive match for the better part of a year doesn't put us up there with Nostradamus and Russell Grant, but that won't stop us enjoying the moment.
Particularly as we have the impression that the fleeting sense of pleasure is likely to be short-lived, judging by news that Fabio Capello is next on Brian Barwick's hit list. While we are probably in a minority when we say that we won't miss Mourinho's colossal ego, the fist-pumping celebrations or the inevitable stories of disillusionment as The High Maintenance One is linked with other jobs, the idea of appointing a foreign coach who has no ties with the English game is somewhat depressing.
For all Capello's titles and achievements, there is one simple drawback: he doesn't speak English. Admittedly, he's said he would learn, but so would we if there was a four-year, £4 million-a-year, fill-your-boots contract on the table.
And when you consider that Sven was berated for failing to give a sufficiently tub-thumping half-time team talk - and he speaks near-perfect English - it shows that this is an issue of suitability, not xenophobia. Try conveying passion - let alone the demands of catenaccio - when you have to wait for an interpreter to deliver your message. If your one job is to communicate with players, you'd better be able to do it.
But what do you think? Are you bothered that having an Italian manager who doesn't speak English will further dilute the team's sense of national pride? Or are you more interested in titles than language barriers? E-mail: sport@timesonline.co.uk
TORRES AND DALGLISH ON THE PODCAST
They share the same star sign, they have played in the same position for the same club - and perhaps surprisingly, they both speak Spanish. But Kenny Dalglish and Fernando Torres are as different as deep-fried Mars bars and tortillas. On TheGame Podcast this week, the Liverpool legend joins his heir apparent to discuss life, love and scoring records. And while few will be surprised that Dalglish is drier than Jack Dee, they may be intrigued to discover why he thinks Torres (£20 million) is better value than he was at £440,000 (including 10 per cent VAT). Dynamic duo Guillem Balague and Gabriele Marcotti are joined by Tony Cascarino to discuss the week's hottest talking points, while Bill Edgar provides another mind-bending stat. Online from 6pm.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_video/
HAS THE SPL LOST ITS CREDIBILITY?
AOTG has received enough e-mails about its admittedly half-baked coverage of the Scottish game to know better than to call the SPL a joke. So we'll let Martin Samuel do it for us. In this week's Game Debate, he says that the decision to allow Rangers to postpone their match with Gretna is tantamount to admitting that the league doesn't really matter. "Already cursed by predictability, the ramifications for the SPL will be long-lasting. The gap between the favourites and the field just got bigger. And in a two-horse race, that is saying something." Join the debate - and don't be shy of telling him what you tell us.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/the-debate-are.html
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>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
SVEN TO RESCUE - News of the World
What you need to know: 1) Sven Goran Eriksson leapt to the aid of a pretty sports presenter who collapsed at his feet. 2) The smooth Swede, who is used to women falling at his feet, held Vicky Gomersall's hand and reassured her after she fainted. 3) Admittedly it doesn't compare to his shenanigans with Nancy, the former weather girl or the cleaning lady - but it will have to do because the rest of the footballing world is keeping its powder dry for the Christmas party season. 4) Anyway, Vicky said: "The medics sat me up at Sven's table so now I can say I've had dinner with Sven." 4) We'd suggest that next time she saves herself the effort and just asks.
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A quickie before you go, sir?
THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX
A collector's item. Ruud van Nistelrooy scores from outside the area for Real Madrid, something he failed to achieve in five years at Manchester United.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPwhh1umAkk
OFF THE POST
This is about as real as Mourinho's interest in the England job, but that won't stop us revelling in the "amazing skills" (particularly as AOTG can't even climb up a lamp post or juggle a ball on its head, let alone do both at once).
http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/sports/Amazing_Lamppost_Soccer_Skills_1/#38360
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6
The top six teams in the Premier League are unbeaten at home - but defeats for Chelsea and Arsenal this weekend mean that each has lost away from home.
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In TheGame
In Fanzine Fanzone, Chris Smith, our Derby County fan, explains why the green shoots of recovery can be seen. Has he gone mad - or is it proof that an away goal is as good as a win? Elsewhere, James Henderson, our Sunderland man, wonders why he took a day off work, spent £50 on a ticket, watched some desperate defending - and still felt happy with a 2-0 defeat by Chelsea.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/fanzine_fanzone/
In Tony's Fiver , Cascarino explains why a minority of Aston Villa fans brought shame on the club with their disgraceful treatment of 'Arry Redknapp.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/tony-cascarinos.html
"One in four five-year-olds can't do basic sums. God, that's a whopping 98 per cent." Alan Carr's Topical Barometer .
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/alan-carrs-topi.html
Clinton Morrison tells QA about shopping, James Scowcroft's dress sense, the Embassy nightclub in Mayfair - and why footballers find it easier to pull women than to score goals. Kaveh Solhekol does the interview.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/qa-clinton-morr.html
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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* Arsenal take a wrong turn - Daily Mail
* We won't quit: FA still want Mourinho - The Sun
* Fallen idols: Wenger lashes out as Arsenal crash to Boro ... but beaten Hatton says: I'm fighting on - Daily Mirror
* World Cup-winner Lippi keen on England - The Daily Telegraph
* Who needs Mourinho? O'Neill leads a four-way fight for job - Daily Express
* Arsenal suffer surprise defeat - The Independent
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox
OK, just to stick the final boot into the FA before they execute yet another cock-up on the England post: can they honestly believe there's a manager born on our little island that can lead the troops to victory in the next meaningful trophy hunt? I mean you can smell it already. They'll wheedle Alan Curbishley in there and turn one of the better home-grown leaders in the game into a snivelling, confused, umbrella-carrying failure - what a shame for all concerned. Why? Cus he's a nice guy!
On the other hand, hire a guy like Mourinho and he will tell them where to stuff it when they attempt to stick their unqualified noses into matters they have proven time and again they have no clue about. It's BECAUSE he's an arrogant Portugeezer that we need him - could it be more obvious?
Sadly for Matt, that ship appears to have sailed.
So much for learning from its mistakes ... The FA's search for a new England manager is already gearing up to be a Christmas special of the Pink Panther!! Brian Barwick and friends being just as effective as the comically blundering clumsy Inspector Clouseau himself!!!!
Mark Ward hits the nail on the head. But who would play Cato?
Geez! Just appoint someone. The next game isn't until February and I don't think I can handle this speculation for much longer. Chat of the England job should be consigned to the exact same place as the Times and every other sports website I look at when I am supposed to be working have consigned the news of the Scotland role - total obscurity. Let's face it, the poor sod is going to be in five minutes and it is going to one of the following ways:
1) He is foreign - he doesn't understand the passion and won't sing the anthem. Get rid of him.
2) He is English - he hasn't won anything in his life. Get rid of him.
3) He is Mourinho (I know, foreign) - self-appointed 2010 World Cup Champions. They won't just give us the trophy? Get rid of him.
So now we know how it will end, can we talk about something else. How about why people called Posslethwaite have never made it in football? Those with unfortunate names like McGibbon and Frecklington seem to be restricted to lower-league football - I bet they would stay there even if the had the talent of Kaka. See Kaka.....Frecklington. Just doesn't sell jerseys.
A fair point, although Al from Glasgow doesn't tell us his surname. Maybe it's McPonsonby-Smythe.
Send your mail to: sport@timesonline.co.uk
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Tomorrow's news today
- The man behind the glasses: Capello in profile
- Liverpool prepare for critical Marseilles test
- Allardyce calls for winter break
And expect...
Sven to start doing interviews with scented candles and mood lighting.
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