AHEAD OF THE GAME
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Monday, December 3, 2007. 1600 GMT
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The news in 60 seconds
MOURINHO STILL TEASING
AOTG suggested last week that Jose Mourinho appeared to be playing an elaborate game of kiss chase with the FA. Now it looks like he's moved from the playground to the school disco. The Portuguese has got his adviser to say that he quite fancies the England job - but only if the FA asks him to dance first. "He's not waving his hand in the air trying to get [the FA's] attention," Eladio Parames said, as Mourinho stood in the shadows tapping his foot and trying to look cool. "If he's approached, he'll reply."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2992517.ece
SPIRITUAL BARTON
Joey Barton says that he will be judged by a "high power" (and he's not talking about the High Court). The Newcastle United player said: "Whatever high power it is, when you finally meet him - whether it be right or wrong, I believe when I stand in front of my maker then I can say to him: 'Yeah, I did this for this reason; this, that for this reason.'" We look forward to reading the transcript of that conversation.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/newcastle/article2993010.ece
IT'S ALL McCLAREN'S FAULT
When in doubt, blame Steve McClaren. Gareth Southgate says the reason Middlesbrough are less threatening than a blunt plastic knife from the Times canteen is because of his predecessor's inadequacy. "I don't know why the scouting network was allowed to wither and we still have a tremendous amount of work left to do," Southgate, who bought Jeremie Aliadiere, Lee Dong Gook and Tuncay, said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/blackburn/article2988275.ece
AGBONLAHOR EYES NEW DEAL
Make your own mind up: Gabriel Agbonlahor either wants a move to Arsenal or a big fat pay rise. "If I am playing well then things might happen and, if a new contract is there, I would be happy to sign it," Agbonlahor said before accidentally reminding everyone about rumours linking him Arsenal. "I am flattered by the Arsenal story. If I am playing well week-in and week-out, I will get other clubs looking at me." He signed a four-year deal only at the end of last season.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/aston_villa/article2991431.ece
FERGUSON WON'T SPEND
Sir Alex Ferguson must be lining up a bid for Nicolas Anelka or Dimitar Berbatov. That's the only conclusion AOTG can reach after the Manchester United manager said that he was happy with his squad. Wayne Rooney is expected to return after an ankle injury for tonight's match against Fulham.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_united/article2991004.ece
SILLY CARSON
An associate of Carson Yeung has defended the Hong Kong businessman's slow-moving takeover of Birmingham City by saying, "It's not like we are buying a TV set." Which is very true: if he bought a plasma screen from any reputable wholesaler, he'd be able to watch some decent football on any number of channels and still have change from £1,000.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/birmingham/article2993150.ece
RAMOS VAMOS
Tottenham Hotspur spend all that time and money bringing in a new manager, only to discover they could have saved themselves the hassle and just hired Ossie Ardiles. Juande Ramos's answer to his team's defensive failings was to try and outscore Birmingham City by packing his midfield with tough-tackling Aaron Lennon, Steed Malbranque and Robbie Keane. It didn't work.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article2988283.ece
HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO
"It should not take Roy Hodgson to spot that Fabio Capello (one European Cup, seven league titles, four domestic cups) is a tidy coach. Google him, for heaven's sake." Martin Samuel on why Brian Barwick is dithering when the FA needs decisive action.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/columnists/martin_samuel/article2987916.ece
KEEPER OF THE FAITH
Brad Friedel, the Blackburn Rovers goalkeeper, has written a self-help manual. But before you make the same mistake we made, it's not meant for Scott Carson and Paul Robinson. It's all about ethics and the moral dimensions of goalkeeping. Wacky.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/blackburn/article2988275.ece
DÉJÀ VU ALL OVER AGAIN
It will be home away from home for Manchester United after they were drawn away to Aston Villa in the FA Cup. It will be the seventh time in ten seasons they have played at Villa Park in the competition and the third time they have played Villa.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2988270.ece
SOUNESS FOR SCOTLAND
It's not a joke, just a story. Graeme Souness is among the favourites for the Scotland job. As Graham Spiers, our esteemed correspondent from north of the border, says: "Having Souness around is always incredible fun. The only worry is, it is not always a success."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/scotland/article2988612.ece
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>>>>>FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS<<<<<
* Register today for PlayTheGame
* It's free and you can still enter
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* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes
QUESTION TIME
Please, take a seat. Let me take your umbrella / Armani coat for you, sir. Would you like anything to drink? Water? Coffee? Cristal champagne? A sip from the Poisoned Chalice? No. OK, let's not waste any time (we've done enough of that already). First of all, we would like to outline the job that you have applied for. It's a part-time job that involves watching as much or as little football as you want (it's up to you, we're really not bothered - but just make sure you fill out a hefty expense form or we'll all look bad). The good news is that the first year will be largely a feet-up, cigar-smoking role because we don't have any games of meaning. But Brian here will ensure you still get paid handsomely, don't you worry. And this lovely office in Soho Square comes as part of the package.
Anyway, we would like to ask you a few questions about your suitability for the role of England manager, as proposed by Times Online readers. And please, don't worry if you don't get the answers right - the whole process is just for show anyway. The first three are from Ola Obanubi .
1. How do you count to 10?
a) 4-4-2 b) 3-5-2 c) 4-3-3 d) All of the above as long as Gerrard and Lampard never play together e) Any of the above with the same condition as d)
2. How many world-class players currently are there in the England squad?
a) 0 b) 0 c) 0 d) all of the above.
3. Which one of these would you like to be held in your home stadium a week or so before a crucial England game? a) NFL game b) Rugby union game c) Rugby league game d) Glastonbury.
The next one is from Peter Koeb, but you don't have to answer if you feel compromised by the question.
4. Okay, Jose / Guus / Fabio: it's a Euro / World Cup quarter-final against Portugal / Holland / Italy. How do you feel? Which team do you want to win? How will you go about it?
Bill also has a question - although it goes against all our money-for-nothing principles.
5. Are you prepared to do the job for a modest salary, with a bonus scheme that would make you richer than Midas if you brought success, but with no pay-off if you fail?
OK didn't think so, let's move on swiftly. One from Chris Stanley.
6. Can you deal with incompetent buffoons, overpaid overhyped prima donnas and press that will be waiting for you to slip so they can slash your reputation to pieces?
No, we didn't understand the question either. Anyway, if you still want it, Mr Mourinho, it's yours. [Thanks for all your questions and suggestions].
THEGAME PODCAST
If the police wanted to talk to 'Arry Redknapp they didn't need to turn up at 6am with a phalanx of photographers from The Sun, nick his computer and stick him in the cooler for a couple of hours. Just ask Gabriele Marcotti and Guillem Balague. TheGame Podcast tried arranging an interview the old-fashioned way - they asked - and discovered the Portsmouth manager was as open as they come. He even made them all a nice cuppa coffee. In the second part of their exclusive interview with the Portsmouth wheeler-dealer, Redknapp reveals the secrets of his South Coast success.
From stroking the delicate egos of his star players - step forward Kanu - to feeding them the right food, Redknapp demonstrates that he is every inch the modern manager.
Also, the team debate the repercussions from the corruption investigations and Tony Barrett, respected correspondent from the Liverpool Echo, throws some light on a week of intrigue that has left Rafael Benitez clinging on to his job. Online from 6pm.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_video/
VOLZ IS WHEEL DEAL
AOTG always thought that Mortiz Volz was one spoke short of a wheel. In his column in TheGame today, the Fulham defender has revealed a passion for a new sport: Folding Bike Monopoly Board Racing. In what sounds like an episode of Top Gear crossed with Blue Peter, Volz raced members of his Prince's Trust group around London, passing each of the 26 stops of the Monopoly board on the way. Volz's opposition had to use public transport. The result? Volz won, of course. "I've always said folding bike racing should be an Olympic sport ... I now think the event should be Folding Bike Monopoly Board Racing. I can see it now as I step up to the rostrum to collect my gold medal, little bike neatly packed away in a bag on my back, the German anthem playing... Either that or I'll become a courier."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2988298.ece
THE DEBATE
Big Sam's problems at Newcastle United don't stem from the fact that the Toon Army wants too much, but from the fact that Allardyce wants too little. Martin Samuel says fans expected more from their new manager than a five-year plan couched in words of caution and realism - they wanted him to deliver glory. Instead, he's treating Newcastle like a glorified - or should that be humdrum? - version of Bolton and he's rightly paying the price for his lack of ambition.
For what it's worth, AOTG thinks he's just being punished for spending a fortune on indefensibly bad defenders. But what do you think? Join the debate.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/031207-the-deba.html
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>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
FOOTIE ACE SUES OWN DAUGHTER FOR £55K - The Sun
What you need to know: 1) Neville Southall left his daughter in tears - after suing her to get back £55,000 of his trophies. 2) The ex-Everton and Wales goalie gave Samantha, 19, his FA Cup medals and other gongs but claimed he never meant her to keep them. 3) We thought he'd embarrassed himself enough with that performance in a charity match on Sky TV yesterday, but he took her to court - forcing the sobbing law student to hand back the medals and pay £6,000 costs. 4) At least big Nev will be able to buy another pie.
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A quickie before you go, sir?
LIVE PREMIER LEAGUE HIGHLIGHTS
Make your own mind up about Robbie Keane's red card, savour Flamini's left-foot strike for Arsenal, watch Joe Cole sinks the Hammers and watch through your fingers as Big Sam edges closer to the dole queue. Highlights from every Premier League match.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article2236741.ece
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5
Consecutive league victories Manchester United have recorded over Fulham, their opponents this evening.
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In TheGame
Bill Edgar on how Portsmouth have had four goalless draws in their past five matches - but still average nearly two goals a game. The weekend in numbers.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/031207-weekend.html
In Tony's Fiver , Cascarino explains why Newcastle United will keep paying the price for buying second-rate players from a second-rate league.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/031207-tonys-fi.html
A Uefa investigation into teams who have been paid thousands of pounds to let in goals? Why not just call Steve McClaren. Alan Carr's Topical Barometer .
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/dec-3-edition-o.html
The Greatest Ever West Ham United matches.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/the-greatest-ev.html
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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* Mourinho plans for England and wants FA to call - The Guardian
* Torres class helps clear the storm clouds from Anfield - The Independent
* Keane fury as Spurs crash - Daily Express
* Gus sees red: Poyet fury as Spurs flop and Keane walks - Daily Mail
* Villa and United renew rivalry - The Daily Telegraph
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox
So, Big Eck's Big Revolution has started. Anybody who was surprised at the result at White Hart Lane should not be; McLeish (or Mc£eish, or McCash, or whatever hilarious moniker he has been given) is the jammiest manager around. With Rangers, he owed two of his SPL titles to last-day hiccups by Celtic. As Scotland manager, the victories over France owed just as much to sheer fluke as they did to bravery, courage, and McFadden's left peg.
Birmingham are in good hands, though. As the saying goes up here, 'ye can beat a good manager, but ye cannae beat a lucky manager.'
Alan Gillespie from Glasgow
Five decisions for Phil Dowd in Blackburn v Aston Villa game:
1. Benni McCarthy "goal" disallowed for offside - Wrong 2. Ryan Nelsen sending off - Wrong 3. Aston Villa 3rd goal - Wrong, it was offside 4. Aston Villa 4th goal - Wrong, it was offside
Three big decisions today in B'Ham v Spurs
1. Penalty for B'ham - maybe. 2. Penalty for Spurs - maybe 3. Send off Robbie Keane - wrong (but maybe it was on Uriah Rennie's advice if so then Keith Hackett needs to explain why we now have video evidence by default)
But whatever way you look at it the guy got at least 5 out of 7 decisions wrong (or maybe even seven). So, much as it grieves me to agree with Alex Ferguson you have to say that on this evidence the refereeing standards are falling this season.
We'd suggest someone needs to explain to Bill Arthur the difference between a referee and an assistant referee...
Send your mail to: sport@timesonline.co.uk
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Tomorrow's news today
- Manchester United look for cover at left back
- Redknapp prepares to raid lower leagues
- Dowie's position under the spotlight
And expect...
Mourinho to invite Brian Barwick out to dinner
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