AHEAD OF THE GAME
Alpha mail. The only truly useful football e-mail
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Wednesday, December 5, 2007. 1600 GMT
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The news in 60 seconds
NO UEFA INQUIRY
Uefa has denied that it is investigating Liverpool's 8-0 thrashing of Besiktas, possibly the most suspicious late collapse since some third-rate tennis tournament in a remote outpost of the world tour. A German newspaper said there were lots of dodgy bets on a high-score Liverpool victory. But maybe that's just because the Turkish team aren't very good.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/liverpool/article3004026.ece
KENWRIGHT DEFENSIVE
Bill Kenwright, the Everton chairman, has defended the club's plans to build a new stadium, despite being called "the man who has murdered the soul of the club" at a meeting last night. "The team we have brought in to look at these other schemes know what they are doing," he said. "You would think we had brought in Desperate Dan and Corky the Cat, the way people are talking." Desperate Dan and Corky the Cat were unavailable for comment, but Dennis the Menace said he wouldn't trust those two either.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/everton/article3004340.ece
KING FOR THE DAY
The best news for Tottenham Hotspur fans since Younes Kaboul was hauled off at half-time against Birmingham City on Sunday: Ledley King has come through 45 minutes of football. The defender, who has yet to play this season because of a knee injury, says that as long as the knee is fine, he's happy.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/tottenham/article3003623.ece
GERRARD'S GOAL
Stevie Me says he's more interested in how Liverpool do than personal achievements (so long as he gets to play in the middle, of course). "If Fabregas and Lampard score more goals than me but we finish higher than them in the table I certainly will not be complaining," the Liverpool captain said. "Goals are important but not as important as points."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/liverpool/article3005902.ece
SVEN SEEKS ADVENTURE
Sven-Goran Eriksson, the Manchester City manager, has promised to go on the attack in future matches away from home - although that's easy to say when your next match is at White Hart Lane, where even we'd fancy scoring at the moment.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_city/article3005816.ece
CARSON'S 'COURAGE'
Martin O'Neill has given one of his stream-of-consciousness monologues in praise of Scott Carson's resilience. "He has had a very tough time for one so relatively young," the Aston Villa manager said. "He is young, there is no 'relatively' about it, and he has done very well. He has shown a bit of strength of character, and that is always encouraging."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/aston_villa/article3005798.ece
RONALDINHO GOING NOWHERE
Ronaldinho's agent has denied reports that the Barcelona star has struck a deal to join Chelsea, but like all good agents he's not ruled anything out. "I have not read the newspapers, but it is a big surprise for me, because I have not spoken with anybody," Roberto de Assis said. "I cannot receive offers. The only one who can receive them are Barcelona."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/chelsea/article3005702.ece
LAMBERT WANDER LUST?
Paul Lambert, the Wycombe Wanderers manager, has said that he is flattered to have been linked to the Scotland job. "I'll have to see if I'm asked," he said, perhaps tellingly. "It's an honour to be linked to your national team but I think it is just pure speculation at the moment." We suspect he's right.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/scotland/article3003313.ece
TERRY BACKS SPECIAL ONE
John Terry says he'd be happy for Jose Mourinho to become England's Special One, despite their little lovers' tiff at Chelsea - although he also says he hasn't bothered to ask Mourinho whether he wants the job (despite sending him texts to find out about his family, pet dog and Armani overcoat).
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article3001421.ece
BARTON CLEARS UP MISUNDERSTANDING
Joey Barton has given the kind of cogent interview that makes you wonder why he gets himself in trouble in the first place. He's defended his recent criticism of the "vicious" fans, saying it was meant as a rallying cry. But then he was talking to the club's website...
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/newcastle/article3005738.ece
SALVATION FOR JOEY?
Joey Barton said he wanted to be judged by a higher power and he's got his wish: Martin Samuel has given his verdict. Not that our Chief Football Correspondent is confusing himself with a minor deity - he just wants the Newcastle United bad boy to accept responsibility for his actions and not hide behind some half-cocked religious notions.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/columnists/martin_samuel/article3001439.ece
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>>>>>FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS<<<<<
* Register today for PlayTheGame - but only if John Terry says he's OK with it
* It's free and you can still enter
* Win monthly prizes and tickets to the Euro 2008 final
* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes
CLUBBING TOGETHER FOR STOKES
On a day so quiet that AOTG considered crashing its canoe into the banks of the Thames and making a break for Panama, news about Anthony Stokes's ban from The Glass Spider (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/sunderland/article3001283.ece) was as well received as a cash payout on Mrs AOTG's life insurance. Anyway, it came as a hammer blow when our miserly boss rejected the idea of using the company credit card to carry out an undercover sting on the VIP area of said nightclub, but that's not stopped us doing the kind of in-depth, surgically precise undercover reporting for which we are becoming famous.
And we weren't disappointed - because after several clicks of our mouse we discovered that this is "Sunderland's most happening bar & grill with regular custom and appearances by famous faces such as Coolio, Michael Barrymore, Jennifer Ellison, Ryan Thomas, Will Mellor, Joe Pasquale, Journey South and Boy George."
No mention of Stokesie, oddly. Still, as if that list of big-name stars - who or what is Ryan Thomas? We Googled it and we're still not sure - or the fact that you can get a bottle of Stella for £1.29 was not tempting enough, the club even has a Ronan Keating tribute band performing tomorrow night. Bet Stokes is gutted.
MALOUDA THE DELUDER
As predicted in yesterday's AOTG, Florent Malouda has claimed that his quotes were lost in translation. "I just want the fans to know that what I saw in the paper this morning is exactly the contrary to what I said to the French paper and the French people," Malouda said. "One thing I tried to speak about is that I achieved a good adaptation in my new club, and I was speaking about London life." Exactly the contrary? So he actually told France Football that the players didn't tackle each other hard in training, that traffic in London is surprisingly good and that English players have impressively healthy diets. Now that is a story.
THE BALD TRUTH
What have these three players got in common: Stephen Ireland, Stan Lazaridis and Romario? That's right, they've all got into trouble this season by trying to cover up their bald spots.
The Brazil legend has admitted to failing a drugs test, claiming that the only reason he had been taking finasteride, the drug in question, was to prevent hair loss. The drug is also known as a masking agent (and not just because it is more effective than a Bobby Charlton combover). It's the same mitigation provided by Stan Lazaridis, who recently returned to training after similar follicle frolics, while Ireland's alleged hair job - so conspicuous that even Elton John was offended - was apparently one of the reasons he's packed up playing for Ireland.
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>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
FA CUP DRAW BALLS UP - Daily Star
What you need to know: 1) Football fans were furious last night after an apparent cock-up in the televised FA Cup draw. 2) Although Sammy Nelson, the former Arsenal star called out 24 when he made the draw, the ball looked more like 25. 3) As a result, one of the country's top teams got Premier League opposition instead of a clash with a Championship side. 4) The Daily Star was "flooded" with calls about the incident - and a replay appears to show that the ball WAS 25. 4) Right at the bottom of the two-page story, at about the point when most readers have put down the story to ring the FA in indignation, there is a quote from the governing body that shoots the whole thing down in flames. 5) "It's a No 24 but because there's a line underneath the numbers, at that angle on the film it looks like a 25," the spokesman said. "It's been verified by our competitions department." Oh well.
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A quickie before you go, sir?
BETS ARE OFF
Are you honestly suggesting that these Besiktas defenders weren't giving their all? Of course you're not. Watch all eight Liverpool goals and count the number of tackles on one finger. (And it worked at 3.52, Olly)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZObImURrNM&feature=related
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63
Number of goals Filippo Inzaghi - the diving, whingeing, supplicating, long-haired AC Milan goalhanger - has scored in European competitions after his winner against Celtic last night. He has broken the record of Gerd Muller, the West Germany goalscoring legend.
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In TheGame
Martin Samuel wanted to get to the heart of what's gone wrong at Newcastle United in this week's debate. And while some of you disagreed with our Chief Football Correspondent's opinion, it's fair to say that if Newcastle could defend their goalline half as well as Samuel defends his, there wouldn't be too many problems at St James' Park. http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/12/the-debate-mart.html
A fresh entry in our Fanzine Fanzone . Richard Allen, our new Fulham man, on why the fans are still behind Lawrie Sanchez - despite a record that would have most managers looking over their shoulders anxiously. Elsewhere, our Manchester City man has been hanging out with Sven - and it sounds like he's almost fallen for the Swede's famous charm - while our Chelsea man brings his wit to the blog as he discusses some novel ways of stopping opposition players from scoring. http://timesonline.typepad.com/fanzine_fanzone/2007/12/slide-away.html
On TheGame Podcast this week, Gabriele Marcotti and Guillem Balague lead the discussions as the team debate the week's big talking points. Is Big Sam on the brink? Is Rafa on the edge? Tony Barrett, respected correspondent for the Liverpool Echo, joins the team while Bill Edgar provides a stat to melt your brain. Plus the second part of an exclusive interview with 'Arry Redknapp. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_video/
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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* Given fury at tales of player revolt - The Guardian
* Players deny revolt against Allardyce - The Daily Telegraph
* City preparing £17m move for Mascherano as Liverpool stall - The Independent
* Cap fits for Toon: Italian lined up to replace Big Sam - Daily Star
* KOPELLO: England hopeful Capello claims Liverpool are chasing him - Daily Mirror
* Special gift: wary FA want Mourinho wrapped up by Christmas - Daily Mail
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox
The answer is almost as simple as most footballers [what to do when foulers cheat, yesterday's AOTG]. No talking, no gestures, no huffs, stamping of feet, throwing rattles out of the pram to the referee ... Zip! Unless you are the captain and only when given permission and the other captain is there. Now, I'm not in favour of sin-bins, but what about a Naughty Step (time dependant on age - Sheringham should know better by now, or he'll miss the whole game) for players to sit head bowed, no looking round. Well, if they are going to act like children...
AOTG is tempted to start a petition in support of Stuart Mennie 's brilliant idea. Can we make them sit under an umbrella as well, just to make the point?
The best policy to stop players who foul, then cry "he dived ref!" is to start within each club. Steven Gerrard hates diving, he is the Liverpool captain therefore anyone diving is taken to one side and told this is not done at this club. If there are no divers in your team then fouling and then saying it was a dive makes you look stupid.
We only wish we shared Dianne Teraud 's faith in human nature (or a footballer's intelligence).
Reading today's Ahead of the Game has just made me late for an online training course at work. The name of the course I'm turning up late to? "The Organized Executive"! Oh the irony.
Scott - don't worry. We'll endeavour to make sure it only arrives outside of office hours in future... like normal
Former England manager Glenn Hoddle believes Barwick must think carefully about the nationality of the next boss. He said: "This is the English FA and we need an Englishman. If we do go foreign, we need an Englishman beside him to be groomed for the future." Because it worked so well in the case of Sven and Soggy Steve Mc!
AOTG is always careful about any e-mail that talks about grooming, but after careful inspection we agree Amar Purohit has a very valid point.
"Mourinho would be unbearable if he actually won anything - and if he didn't, why pay him £6 million a year?" [yesterday's AOTG].
Are you mad? Mourinho being insufferable is a small price to pay for England winning something for the first time in 44 years.
In answer to Jason Rohan 's question: quite probably. At least the straightjacket helps explain the typing errors. Nonetheless, we will continue to stand by our opinion (even if it's less popular than Marc Bannerman).
"'Mourinho ready for England", the headline declared. No, he isn't. He's just keeping his name in the papers so that when a big club job comes up, he seems in high demand. There are many reasons Jose wouldn't do the job. One being the fact that he is a fiercely private, family man, and would not wish to expose himself - or his children - to the intense spotlight that glares on the England manager. I think your fine selves at AOTG have hid the nail on the head - he IS just a little tease.
That's right - someone agrees with AOTG. Step forward Alan Gillespie and join us in our Ivory Tower.
Any chance you could start linking to YouTube clips that still work?
Is it any consolation to know that they work for us? Probably not. Our apologies to Olly Tobias .
Send your mail to: sport@timesonline.co.uk
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Tomorrow's news today
- Will Big Sam still have a job in the morning?
- Shadow of Capello increase pressure on Benitez
And expect...
Big Sam to be spotted drinking in the last chance saloon.
You can't spread the word at the moment, so it's not like pyramid selling at all. We're updating our registration system so no one else can sign up for a couple of weeks at least. Consider yourselves members of an exclusive club.
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