Ahead of the Game: Mourinho - Give Us A Job

AHEAD OF THE GAME

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Friday, September 21, 2007. 1600 BST
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Mourinho in 30 seconds

MOURINHO - GIVE US A JOB
Jose Mourinho has told The Times that he is going to sit back and "wait for the telephone calls" after his dismissal. The manager has agreed a £12 million payoff with the club, so it's no wonder he talked about his "never-ending love story" with the club.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/chelsea/article2501006.ece

FERGIE'S DRINKING BUDDY
Sir Alex Ferguson has lamented shelling out on a decent bottle of red after his drinking buddy's departure from Chelsea. Fergie said he does not know what to do with the plonk, although we're prepared to bet you a bunch of burst capillaries he finds an answer. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2504019.ece

PRAISE FOR SPECIAL ONE
It seems that everyone except Roman Abramovich and Andriy Shevchenko is upset about the Special One's departure. Arsene Wenger is a little bit sad, Roy Keane says he raised the bar and Fergie says he was a breath of fresh air.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/chelsea/article2504977.ece

WORD TO THE WISE
Matt Dickinson interrupted Mourinho's lunch in Chelsea Harbour yesterday, where the Special One claimed he didn't know what "mutual consent" meant - he mischievously told our Chief Sports Correspondent to look it up in a dictionary. Well, we did just that and in the Ahead of the Game dictionary it says: "Skulking off in a sulk with several million to soften the blow."
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/chelsea/article2500631.ece

GRANT'S PEDIGREE AND CHUMS
Martin Samuel says that September 20, 2007 will be remembered as the day that Chelsea went from being a football club to a rich man's plaything. Avram Grant has no qualifications for the job apart from his friendship with Abramovich - and he will need more than that on Sunday.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/chelsea/article2500624.ece

LOADS OF MONEY
Jose Mourinho's payoff at Stamford Bridge is so big it makes it look as though Sven-Goran Eriksson was short-changed. It's the biggest settlement yet for a manager in Britain, dwarfing the amount Martin Jol and Sammy Lee will no doubt be offered in a couple of weeks' time.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/chelsea/article2500636.ece

JOSE'S STAR QUALITY
Simon Barnes says that the players under Jose Mourinho were like actors in a film by Alfred Hitchcock - cattle. The Special One certainly looked like a film star but it's a bit harsh on his supporting cast.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/columnists/simon_barnes/article2500633.ece

The other news in 30 seconds

USMANOV RAISES STAKES
Alisher Usmanov, the Uzbek billionaire who is the second biggest Arsenal shareholder with 21 per cent, has told the Russian media that he wants to up his stake to 25 per cent. He's sounded an ominous note by saying he wants a "blocking share", which would mean the club couldn't do what it wanted without him.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/arsenal/article2505257.ece

RIDSDALE OFFERS TO QUIT
Everyone reach for your hankies. Peter Ridsdale has offered to stand down as chairman of Cardiff City because he can't take the abuse. "I am getting more stick for saving Cardiff City than I did when things went wrong at Leeds," he said, forgetting that he still gets stick for what he did at Leeds.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/football_league/article2506136.ece

BOOTHROYD'S MANTRA
Aidy Boothroyd has been reading those manage-your-way-to-the-top manuals as he tells his players: "When you're strong, it's about finding 'the inner winner'." Read our Championship round-up.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/football_league/article2505634.ece

PREMIER LEAGUE PREVIEWS
Tomas Rosicky has been ruled out of Arsenal's match against Derby County with a hamstring strain, Stephen Ireland could return for Manchester City and Liverpool are without Daniel Agger and Xabi Alonso. Keep up to date with all the team news as it is released.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article2503139.ece

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>>>>>FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS<<<<<
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* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes

THAKSIN SENDS ROUND BEGGING BOWL
Ahead of the Game has received plenty of requests via e-mail: there was that message from the deposed African dictator who needed to get money out of his homeland (he still hasn't replied, even after we forwarded the $20,000 deposit) and that nice man from Viagra still keeps in contact. But imagine our surprise when our inbox beeped with a message from none other than Mr Thaksin Shinawatra, the Manchester City owner and former Prime Minister of Thailand.
It seems like Svennis has spent all the profit from that (alleged) land deal and Thaksin needs to get his hands on some more money quick sharp.
We obviously sent our full bank details - including pin number and sort code - so he could extradite some of the money from his "21 frozen bank accounts" for "a reliable business purpose". We'll let you know how our investment grows.

RONALDO INJURES JOINER (POSSIBLY)
Overworked staff in benefits offices across Merseyside are braced for a new claim after Cristiano Ronaldo put an Everton fan out of work. Carl Lloyd, a joiner, said he needed hospital treatment after the Manchester United winger allegedly trod on him at Goodison Park last Saturday. "I've been in excruciating pain," he said. "I don't know if I'll work again any time soon. I couldn't believe what happened. All I was doing was trying to retrieve the ball."
Ahead of the Game has heard some lame excuses for pulling a sickie, but that takes the biscuit. Still, the police are taking it seriously. A spokesman for Merseyside Police confirmed Mr Lloyd had made an official complaint.

REDKNAPP LOOKING GOOD
It's been rumoured that Avram Grant is set to offer a coaching role to Jamie Redknapp - a job that the former Liverpool man is completely unqualified to do, except for his close family contacts and good looks. A bit like his role as a pundit on Sky Sports, then? Miaow...

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2
Minutes it took Jermain Defoe to score after coming off the bench in the Uefa Cup. Bet he's back on the bench on Sunday, though
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A quickie before you go, sir?

GOING IN WHERE IT HURTS
Giving a new meaning to the title ballboy. This Tottenham volunteer returns the ball straight into a Famagusta player's nether regions. It's enough to bring tears to your eyes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gUgPkJ76x8

MONEY FOR OLD PHOTOS
It hasn't taken Chelsea fans long to cash in on the departed manager. You can get signed photos, footballs and shirts. Expect the coat to be up for grabs soon.
http://search.ebay.co.uk/mourinho_Football-Memorabilia_W0QQcatrefZC6QQfromZR4QQfsooZ2QQfsopZ3QQsaatcZQ2d1QQsacatZ6093QQsalicZ3QQsbrsrtZd

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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* Get your coat: Mourinho was sacked - The Sun
* Abramovich takes hands-on role - The Guardian
* Stampede Bridge - Lampard to lead mass exodus - Daily Express
* Mutiny: tearful Drogba leads revolt - Daily Mirror
* Grant ready to offer Jamie Redknapp key coaching role - The Independent
* Not special enough - 'irretrievable breakdown' spells end - Daily Telegraph
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In TheGame

Brian Glanville has nursed Geoff Hurst back to health in the back of a cab in Guadalajara, he's witnessed every FA Cup Final except three since 1951 and even watched England lift the World Cup - but they're not even in his top 10 football moments. Find out what the doyen of football writers considers to be his finest 50 moments after more than half a century covering the beautiful game.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2488421.ece
Tom Dart would like to put the boot into Jose Mourinho for all his antics on the touchline, but can't bring himself to do it. He says the former Chelsea manager has been great for Chelsea and even better from the Premier League.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/09/who-needs-mouri.html#more
Bill Edgar , our resident genius, explains why Sky and Setanta will be desperate for some action after four games last weekend produced only two goals.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/09/more-goals-plea.html
Our resident Chelsea fan Rob Hobson dries his eyes to consider what will happen at Stamford Bridge now the Special One has gone.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/fanzine_fanzone/2007/09/farewell-to-the.html
Martin Samuel has been rummaging through his postbag to reply to the best and worst of your messages.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/

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>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL <<<<<
Ronaldo dates a pop flop - The Sun
What you need to know: 1) Cristiano Ronaldo is dating a sexy pop idol reject. 2) Luciana Abreu got booted out at the semi-final stage of the Portuguese version of the TV show and also represented Portugal in the Eurovision Song Contest. 3) She says that she's a good Catholic girl - and claims that her favourite book is the bible. 4) That may or may not be true, but at least Ronaldo's not paying for the privilege this time.
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox

I would just like to say that we fans at Watford are more than happy with Aidy Boothroyd, so don't try to muscle your way in here Jose! The relentless march of the mighty Hornets continues!!!!
Pete from St Albans gets carried away

I think all the Arsenal fans should hope and pray that yet another Russian doesn't get his hands on their club ... but it looks to be on the cards. They don't buy football clubs just to become silent sugar daddies.
Arthur Blundell, Chelmsford, Essex is all doom and gloom.

Whatever happened to 4pm???
Alex Lewendon from Bracknell can't wait, but then he probably shouldn't have to. It's a technical issue... honest.

Sometimes you just say it better than we do, which is why we've dedicated a small corner of this e-mail to your views and boos. Feel free to send us your opinions on anything from a request for us to help you extract money from an overseas account to opinions on Usmanov's "blocking" shares. sport@timesonline.co.uk

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Tomorrow's news today

- Grant steps into glare as he tries to fill breach left by the Special One
- The Fink Tank explains: why Mourinho is special but Abramovich is specialer
- Hope Powell plotting victory over USA in women's World Cup quarter-final

And expect...

Roman Abramovich to send a begging letter to Ahead of the Game as he tries to find another £12 million.

Spread the word. It's like pyramid selling, but without the hassle or the money. Click on the following link if you (or your friends) want to subscribe to this newsletter.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2187217.ece

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