Ahead of the Game: Owen's Tender Loving Care

AHEAD OF THE GAME

Alpha mail. The only truly useful football e-mail

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007. 1600 BST
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The news in 60 seconds

OWEN'S TENDER LOVING CARE
Sam Allardyce says he won't take any risks with his Northern Crock. Michael Owen is expected to have surgery on his hernia and the Newcastle manager is refusing to rush him back. He says that he'll put Newcastle first, not England.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/newcastle/article2538334.ece

... BUT ENGLAND CAN COPE
Michael Owen may be out of the Euro 2008 qualifiers with that injury, but Martin Samuel says things aren't as bad as they seem. He says that the other Owen - Hargreaves - will be more important against Russia.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/columnists/martin_samuel/article2532429.ece

GRANT'S ULTIMATUM
Avram Grant has told the Chelsea players to back him or leave. The Normal One sat the players down for one-on-one chats and told them to return their platinum cards or get on with it. John Terry, who picks up about £500,000 a month, was one of the first players to offer his support.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/chelsea/article2532679.ece

BALLACK ON MEND
Speaking of underperforming players with a licence to print their own money, Michael Ballack hopes to be fit in a few weeks' time. The midfield player is 31 today: we hope he got everything he wanted. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/chelsea/article2538017.ece

UNITED TICKET RIP-OFF
Manchester United season ticket-holders are up in arms about a scheme that means they have to pay for Carling Cup tickets even if they don't want to go. A spokesman said: "Three quarters of our season ticket-holders were already signed up voluntarily." So why make it compulsory?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_united/article2532590.ece

THE NEXT ZIDANE
Adel Taarabt has been given the kiss of death. Like Steed Malbranque and Bruno Cheyrou before him, he's been dubbed the next Zinedine Zidane. The Tottenham player is confident he can live up to the big billing and fans are expected to get a glimpse of the 18-year-old against Middlesbrough in the Carling Cup this evening.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/tottenham/article2532433.ece

TORRES BENCHMARK
Considering that Fernando Torres terrorises defenders the way that Dirk Kuyt scares small children, he must wonder what he has to do to earn a starting place for Liverpool. After his hat-trick against Reading, Rafael Benitez said: "If he is not injured and if he keeps training well, maybe he will start the game against Wigan." That would seem sensible.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2533163.ece

MATCH OF THE CENTURY...
.. well, it's only seven years old. The PFA has announced its plan to hold an all-star game featuring legends such as Alan Shearer, Gianfranco Zola, David Ginola and ... Niall Quinn.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2537051.ece

CARLING CUP PREVIEWS
Curtis Davies is poised to make his debut for Aston Villa, Blackburn Rovers are without Ryan Nelson and Manchester United are threatening to unleash Wayne Rooney on Iain Dowie which would be some site.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article2521748.ece

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>>>>>FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS<<<<<
* Register today for PlayTheGame, the most exciting thing on the net (since the LTA clamped down on Bebo)
* It's free and you can still enter
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* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes

SPURS' JOKE STATEMENT
It's a statement that could come back to haunt Tottenham as much as Ricky Gervais's sadly insincere avowal that he would rather give up comedy than become mainstream. "Normally we only have to remind fans to ignore speculation during transfers windows, and we do that in the best interests of our playing staff and our supporters," the club pompously announced on their website. "Given the level of speculation about Martin and his position at the Club, we feel it is necessary to do the same thing now."
As if it wasn't annoying enough that they capped up the word club - it's a bit like writing He when talking about God or Daniel Levy - the bunkum statement goes on to say that "much of the speculation" has been inaccurate and that they have not agreed a compensation package with Martin Jol.
So why does everyone think they have? Probably because some of the speculation - like the courting of Juande Ramos and Jose Mourinho and the fact that the club are planning to get rid of him - hasn't been inaccurate. Interestingly, they are three things He didn't deny.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/tottenham/article2532434.ece

CHELSEA DENIAL
It's a good day for denials. Chelsea have refuted reports in today's papers that the club offered the manager's job to "any individual other than Avram Grant" (they mean Marco van Basten, as reported in The Sun) or that team plans were changed because of player protests (as was alleged by the Daily Mail). They've threatened legal action over the stories.

CHEEKY KLINSMANN
Jurgen Klinsmann gave an interview today saying that he wants to come back to work after his self-imposed exile in America. Good news for journalists, but bad news for Martin Jol and Avram Grant.

FERGUSON'S CHEAP SHOT
If reports from several respected media outlets are to be believed, Manchester United are kicking up a stink about the appointment of Avram Grant because the new Chelsea manager doesn't have his GCSE in football management. Sir Alex Ferguson is a swot when it comes to other people's exams and also made his objections known when Gareth Southgate and Glenn Roeder applied for an exemption. So why does Ahead of the Game think it's funny? Because for some reason Ferguson is less keen on doing his own exams: he holds only an "honorary" Uefa Pro Licence. What happened to education for education's sake?

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13
Goals scored by Liverpool in their past four domestic matches with Fernando Torres in the starting line-up. Without him they failed to score against Birmingham and Portsmouth. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A quickie before you go, sir?

ADEL DO NICELY
He may have been dubbed the next Zizou, but Adel Taarabt's stepovers are as bad as any since Freddie Ljungberg. Here's the Tottenham whiz kid in action.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwgP6bmvESY

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>>>>>THE TABLOID FASHION SCANDAL<<<<<
Victoria's new look: Nazi officer chic - The Sun
What you need to know: 1) Victoria Beckham looks more scary than posh after dressing up in a bizarre Nazi-style dominatrix costume. 2) She's like Herr Flick from 'Allo 'Allo in her tight black trousers, black leather hat and grey buttoned jacket - but without the camp sex appeal. 3) Apparently she was promoting her new album, but we think she just wanted to spice up her life.
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In TheGame

Martin Samuel 's contention that Chelsea aren't a big club got almost as many responses as the club sold tickets for their Champions League match against Rosenborg. Our Chief Football Correspondent answers your comments - including the one questioning his impartiality as a West Ham fan.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/09/the-debate-ma-2.html
In TheGame Podcast , Thierry Henry talks to Guillem Balague about the rise of Cesc Fabregas and the fall of Ronaldinho. He also talks about the difficulty of keeping the overcommitted Spanish press out of his bedroom. Gabriele Marcotti says that if Jose Mourinho was running his restaurant and serving up bland fare like the stuff on offer at Stamford Bridge, he'd have been sacked. Matt Dickinson joins Bill Edgar, Alyson Rudd and the gang.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_video/podcasts/thegame/article2520529.ece
Tony Evans says that Peter Hill-Wood's boasts were vulgar - and not because of his fruity language. He says Arsenal's profits are proof that the Premier League is indeed the "greed is good league".
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/09/the-vulgar-trut.html
Tom Dart says that the PFA's plan to host a match of the century should go down as one of the most boring ideas of the century. He's dreading the sight of more football legends tarnishing their reputations.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/09/help-the-aged-f.html
In Fanzine Fanzone , our Chelsea man wants Roman Abramovich to sign Batman, Wyart Lane, from My Eyes Have Seen The Glory, thinks the board are biting off more than they can chew, while Paul Farrington, our Wigan fan, thanks a referee for leaving his ego in the dressing-room.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/fanzine_fanzone/

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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* Chelsea stars defy Grant over Hull travel order - Daily Mail
* No kidding: Wenger backs latest batch of babes to win on FOUR fronts - Daily Mirror
* Rom offers Van Basten the job - The Sun
* England must face crucial Euro qualifiers without Owen - The Independent
* Owen blow for England - Daily Telegraph
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox

Does it matter how big you are or how many fans you've got, as long as you're successful? I don't think so... Oh, and by the way, no, they're not.
Steve from London can't resist putting the boot into Chelsea

For Chelsea, read Hearts; for Abramovich read Romanov. Look at the Scottish experience of a megalomaniac Russian (yes I know Romanov is Lithuanian, but you get the point) and read the future for Chelski.
Ralph Thackray makes a worrying prediction for Chelsea fans

Sometimes you just say it better than we do, which is why we've dedicated a small corner of this e-mail to your views and boos. Feel free to send us your opinions to sport@timesonline.co.uk

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Tomorrow's news today

- Crouch sympathises with Torres over rotation
- Bentley bemused by boo boys
- All the action from the Carling Cup

And expect...

Tottenham and Chelsea to issue a joint statement denying they have offered Jurgen Klinsmann a job

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http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2187217.ece

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