AHEAD OF THE GAME
Alpha mail. The only truly useful football e-mail
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Tuesday, October 9, 2007. 1600 BST
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The news in 60 seconds
BOLTON DRAW BAYERN
Phil Gartside is "delighted" Bolton Wanderers have drawn German superclub Bayern Munich in the Uefa Cup group stage. The chairman thinks it will be a psychological boost for Little Sam if his team are heavily beaten by tactically and technically superior opposition. Tottenham have avoided the big guns, so by Gartside's logic, they will be gutted.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/european_football/article2621657.ece
WIGAN £20,000 POORER
Dave Whelan will have to flog a few hundred more cut-price replica shirts after Wigan Athletic were fined £20,000 by the FA for failing to control their players during last month's defeat by Newcastle United.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article2621663.ece
IRELAND WITHDRAWS
Who hasn't died this time? Stephen Ireland has pulled out of the Ireland squad for the matches against Germany and Cyprus. Don't worry, before you reach for your hankies, both his grandmothers are OK. He doesn't think he can do his "country or himself justice".
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/
BARTON'S NEWCASTLE PLEDGE
Joey Barton has promised to put Newcastle United before England, which is a little bit like Ahead of the Game saying it will give up wild nights out with supermodels to concentrate on the day job: fantasy. Besides, we're tempted to ask whether it's a promise or a threat. It certainly sounds like a pop at team-mate Michael Owen.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/newcastle/
OWEN CALLS SHOTS
In any case, England's Owen isn't too worried about what his club-mates say. The occasional Newcastle United forward has said he will ignore his manager and take the advice of his surgeon "because she knows what she's talking about". Read into that what you will.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2617700.ece
TERRY'S YELLOW PERIL
John Terry The Brave may be rested for England's match against Estonia on Saturday. Steve McClaren is worried that Captain Courageous will pick up a yellow card that would rule him out of the match against Russia. Defeat by Estonia would make the trip to Moscow completely irrelevant, but the head coach says he's not being overconfident
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2617703.ece
WARNOCK FOR PALACE
Can you think of two people you would less like to be locked in a dressing-room with? Simon Jordan, the Crystal Palace chairman, is considering bringing "Colin" Warnock to Selhurst Park. It's like a poor man's version of Roman Abramovich and Jose Mourinho, but with more ego and less charisma.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/football_league/article2617619.ece
UEFA TO THROW BOOK AT DIDA
... so let's hope it hits because he'll throw himself to the ground like he's been hit by a flare anyway. The European governing body is to investigate the AC Milan goalkeeper's behaviour on that infamous night against Celtic.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/scotland/article2617624.ece
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* Register today for PlayTheGame, a bigger draw than Bayern Munich
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* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes
TEN REASONS WHY FOOTBALL IS BETTER THAN RUGBY
It started with Jimmy Greaves saying he prefers rugby to football. The former England player turned halfpenny pundit says he likes rugby because it's a "man's game" (not just because of the drinking culture). Now Bryan Robson, England's one-time Captain Marvel, has grazed his knees by jumping on to the oval-ball bandwagon quicker than Labour can pledge to cut inheritance tax.
Even if Robson's views can be understood - he's spent too long watching his own teams play - Ahead of the Game wants to stamp out this disgraceful trend of code switching straight away. Here are some reasons why football is still better than rugby:
1) People support the football team through times as thick as a prop forward and as thin as Peter Crouch - not just once every quadrennial tournament, when it looks like England might win something.
2) It's easy to win a tournament when only eight countries actually play the sport. There are 194 countries in the world (we think) and they all play footie. A baseball "World Series" has more credence.
3) The ball is round, not shaped like a hard-boiled egg.
4) England's egg-chasers only ever score points by kicking the ball, which is just like football anyway.
5) Football is played in state schools.
6) Everyone says how well-disciplined the rugby players are and that they respect the referees, so why do they keep punching each other? Google John Hopoate and ask yourself if Vinnie Jones ever did anything comparable.
7) Even rugby players agree that the rules are ridiculous, or else half of them wouldn't have moved up north and formed a splinter group called "League".
8) For a sport that is founded on the premise that the ball can only be thrown backwards, why has every other scoring pass in the World Cup gone forwards? Ray Wilkins played fewer forward passes.
9) Your girlfriend doesn't wear your three lions football shirt, but she'll happily wear the one with the pretty red flower on it.
10) In football, you only wrap your arms around another team-mate for the national anthem - and for very special goals - not after every other break in play. And it's NEVER considered acceptable to grab another player between the legs.
Got any more reasons why football is best? Send them to sport@timesonline.co.uk
THEGAME PODCAST
It's not only Ahead of the Game that has concerned itself with those damn egg-chasers. Gabriele Marcotti kicks off this week's Game Podcast with a discussion about the merits of rugby and its better-than-thou philosophies. If he's not very much mistaken, there were two forward passes in the move that led to France's match-winning try against the All Blacks, yet "nobody seems to care". Can this be right? If a similar incident happened in football we'd never hear the end of it (think of "The Hand of God"). Guillem Balague, Bill Edgar and Alyson Rudd help Gab get his eye back on the round ball - subjects up for discussion include England v Estonia, Little Mo, Rafa's (faltering) Rafalution and an interview with Xabi and Mikel Alonso, Spain's answer to the Neville brothers (and also living in the North West). You can let the team know what you think in TheGame Podcast debate.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_video/podcasts/thegame/article2598097.ece
MODEL BEHAVIOUR
Things are already looking better at QPR under Flavio Briatore (and not because they finally won a match). Naomi Campbell and Tamara Beckwith, the supermodel and socialite respectively, turned up to watch the team's victory against Norwich City last night. The players were obviously keen to impress the ladies - either that or they were terrified of Campbell's notorious (and ferocious) temper. Now there's an idea: Campbell to replace John Gregory as manager...
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73
Number of clean sheets Petr Cech has kept in 138 matches for Chelsea. He is fifth in the club's all-time list.
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A quickie before you go, sir?
FREE PREMIER LEAGUE HIGHLIGHTS
Another chance to catch up with the best of the weekend's action. Watch Arsenal extend their winning streak, Liverpool stumble again and Chelsea scratch out a much-needed victory. Premier League highlights from all the matches, free of charge.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article2236741.ece
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>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
Cops probe Chelsea stars' wild bender - The Sun
What you need to know: 1) Police are investigating John Terry, Ashley Cole and Steve Sidwell after an innocent freelance snapper claimed they harassed him. Poor lamb. 2) The Chelsea players were out on a "wild bender" when - according to said photographer - they surrounded him and tried to nab his camera. 3) The photographer said: "John Terry had food down his top. He asked how much I could make from a picture of him and I said £200. He offered me £300 to delete the snap but I said I wasn't prepared to." 4) We ought to add that the club have denied the players were involved in any alleged criminal damage.
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In TheGame
Tom Dart says that the boffins in the Uefa headquarters must have been using all their baffling brainpower to make the draw for the Uefa Cup as complicated as possible. He bemoans the inefficiency of coefficients. OK, you'll just have to trust us: it's well worth a read.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/the-cup-draw-ru.html
Arsene Wenger has lifted three Premier League titles and four FA Cups. He's even been named manager of the year on three occasions, while making do on a relative shoestring. But Martin Samuel , our Chief Football Correspondent, says Wenger's reliance on foreign stars casts a cloud over his achievements. What do you think: has he failed?
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/england-do-not-.html
In Fanzine Fanzone , our Newcastle fan explains why 14 points from eight matches will do - even if Big Sam's methods have raised some eyebrows. James Henderson, our Sunderland man, says fans should leave their hearts at the turnstiles because they will only get broken.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/fanzine_fanzone/
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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* Shut it Sam! Owen says don't tell me when to play - The Sun
* Jose smear anger: vicious campaign is condemned by Clifford - Daily Express
* Get Rijkaard: Chelsea plan to bring in Barcelona manager - Daily Mail
* Chelsea and Ten Cate at odds over coach's role - The Independent
* Jol on Ajax alert as Ten Cate flies into Chelsea - The Guardian
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox
MO is only interested in beating Bobby Charlton's scoring record for England. Newcastle should sell him.
J Larkin from Rugby would rather see Shola Ameobi playing up front at St James' Park...
Throw the book at Dida and maybe it will finally put an end to the antics that spoil Italian football. You just have to look at the comments from the American viewers of the YouTube video of the incident, to realise his actions have made football the laughing stock of the States at the moment.
Don from China adds his two pennies to the anti-Dida movement.
Sometimes you just say it better than we do, which is why we've dedicated a small corner of this e-mail to your views and boos. Feel free to send us your opinions to sport@timesonline.co.uk
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Tomorrow's news today
- McClaren marshals his forces
- Pressure mounts on Lee
And expect...
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