Ahead of the Game

AHEAD OF THE GAME

Alpha mail. The only truly useful football e-mail

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Monday, October 8, 2007. 1600 BST
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The news in 60 seconds

TEN CATE CAN JOIN CHELSEA
Chelsea will continue their policy of signing up people just when their star appears to be on the wane. Henk ten Cate, who was booed by Ajax fans at the weekend, is set to give up his job as manager to work with Andriy Shevchenko and Co. The new power behind the throne?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/chelsea/article2615641.ece

GRANT CALLS IN MARINES
Avram Grant is poised to appoint a former Israeli marine who served as a platoon commander in a "terror demolition unit" as Chelsea's new fitness coach. Avi Moyal is also an expert in the Israeli martial art of krav maga, so if he can't make Sheva Doesn't Chase run, no one can.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/chelsea/article2610177.ece

TAYLOR SACKED
It's not all doom and gloom for Peter Taylor after he was sacked today - he should at least get an invitation to Simon Jordan's next birthday party. The Crystal Palace chairman keeps in touch with his managerial victims and invited Gerry Francis and Steve Bruce to a glitzy do at the O2 centre two weeks ago. Having said that, the writing may have been on the wall at said birthday bash: Neil Warnock, heavily linked with the job, was also there.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/football_league/article2615480.ece

OWEN TO DO HIS DUTY
Stick your fingers in your ears and repeat after me: lalalalalalalala. Big Sam is grumbling about the danger of Michael Owen overexerting himself for England. The good news is that Owen and Steve McClaren are also ignoring the Newcastle United manager's whinge. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/newcastle/article2610221.ece

ASHTON OUT
It's just as well Owen is prepared to ignore Allardyce, because at this rate he could be the last fit forward in England. Dean Ashton has joined Andrew Johnson in the treatment room for the Euro 2008 qualifiers after suffering medial knee ligament damage. "It almost seems as if there is something against me," the poor lamb bleated.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2614289.ece

BRUCE ON BRINK
Steve Bruce has admitted that his future "doesn't look rosy" after talks over a new contract were put on hold. The Birmingham City manager, who has 19 months left on his present deal, said that the "vibes from the Chinese consortium were negative".
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/birmingham/article2610228.ece

KLINSMANN PLOTTING
Jurgen Klinsmann, the theatrical former Germany star, says players have "a moral responsibility" not to dive. Yeah, that's what we thought. Anyway, Klinsmann explains why the Chelsea post was not for him but reveals he's in the market for a new job. Martin Jol be warned.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2610167.ece

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* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes

JOIN THE DEBATE
After more than ten years at Arsenal, there is one glaring omission on Arsene Wenger's CV. The Frenchman has produced teams of skill and beauty, he's won the Double, lifted two other Premier League titles and three more FA Cups. He's even been named manager of the year on three occasions. So what's missing? The European Cup? No. According to Martin Samuel, our Chief Football Correspondent, the one small blip is Wenger's failure to develop English talent. What do you think? Does Wenger's reliance on foreign stars cast a cloud over his achievements, or does the absence of English players say more about the state of the sport in this country?
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/england-do-not-.html

FREE PREMIER LEAGUE HIGHLIGHTS
Watch Robin van Persie's violent free kick (and see Craig Gordon pull his hand out of the way), witness Elano's masterclass and sit back and enjoy as Manchester United finally open the floodgates. Premier League highlights from all the matches, free of charge.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article2236741.ece

PILOT SAVAGED
A pilot has been sacked after breaching anti-terrorism legislation by letting a scruffy-looking yob with unkempt peroxide blond hair into his cockpit. However, Captain Pablo Mason says that he was confident Robbie Savage did not pose a security threat. "Robbie Savage may be a terror on the pitch, but he is certainly no terrorist," Mason said. The captain, who was dismissed by MyTravel Airways because of the incident, said that he only let Savage on to the flight deck because the midfield player was frightened. Lily, who probably also sleeps with the light on, has written to the pilot to offer his sympathy.

BROTHERS IN ARMS
Xabi and Mikel Alonso would be Spain's answer to the Neville brothers if they weren't good-looking, talented footballers. OK, so the similarities end with their choice of career, but the brothers have been taking to Guillem Balague and TheGame Podcast about growing up together in Spain and their new lives in the North West of England. Gabriele Marcotti has a pop at the egg-chasers across the Channel, while Bill Edgar answers a question that's troubled us all. Carlton Cole: why? It's online from 6pm.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_video/

'LE GOD' IS MORTAL
Matthew Le Tissier says he wouldn't have been fit enough to play in the Premier League these days (although the bigger question is surely whether he ever was). Still, "Le God" defends his fitness: he says he just had small lungs, even if that looked to be the least of his problems. Anyway, he's worried that the next generation of England players will be playing in the Fizzy-Pop Championship because of the present obsession with athletes.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2609846.ece

HAMMER BLOW FOR REO-COKER
Is this the best insult of the season? West Ham United fans greeted Nigel Reo-Coker, their former midfield player, with the cry, "You're just a small Paul Ince." Have you heard any better put downs? Send your suggestions to sport@timesonline.co.uk

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10
Consecutive victories for Arsenal.
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A quickie before you go, sir?

DUTCH FLOURISH
More proof that the Dutch league is rubbish (that Mateja Kezman scored 105 goals in 123 games was exhibit A for the prosecution). Afonso Alves, the Heerenveen striker, sets an Eredivisie record by scoring seven times in one match, but even he looks slightly embarrassed after walking in his fourth and fifth...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0zte2vE6yA

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>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
Defoe does the double - News of the World
What you need to know: 1) Jermain Defoe may not be able to get a game for Tottenham, but he's allegedly playing a devastating one-two off the pitch. 2) The England forward has been employing Martin Jol's rotation policy by two-timing fiancée Charlotte Meares with a doppelganger. 3) The forward could be back on the bench after Rachel Cameron said that he was tighter than Tottenham's defence. He even made her pay for the petrol in his Aston Martin. 4) Allegedly, Defoe also refers to his manhood as "The Hulk". Ouch. And ouch again.
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In TheGame

In Fanzine Fanzone, James Henderson, our Sunderland man, says fans should leave their hearts at the turnstiles because they will only get broken otherwise. Elsewhere, S Spaceram, our Derby County man, is starting to wonder where the points will come from.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/fanzine_fanzone/
Tom Dart says that Steve Bruce has a nose that can smell round corners. More pressingly, he also thinks David Dunn's parting shot could provide a valuable insight into why Birmingham City aren't exactly falling over themselves to offer Bruce a new deal.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/no-brucie-bonus.html
Carlisle United are on to their third manager of the season, but Kaveh Solhekol reports on some belated signs of stability at the club in his postcard from... series. http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/postcard-fromca.html
Which is better, thrashing England or beating France? A bit of a no-brainer, particularly if you are Scottish ... read more in the The Greatest Scotland Matches .
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/the-greatest-sc.html
In QA, Paddy Crerand , the Manchester United legend, explains how (and why) he tried to broker a peace deal with the IRA.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/qa-paddy-creran.html
Alan Carr says Delia needs to get her priorities in order at Norwich City. For starters, they should forget the main course and focus on winning some matches...
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/alan-carrs-topi.html

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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* Shevchenko clashes with Grant over role at Chelsea - The Guardian
* Sew brave: eight days after hernia op, Owen is back scoring - Daily Mirror
* Torres adds late twist to a tale of two mysteries - Daily Telegraph
* Owen back and ready to defy his club - Daily Mail
* Jol gets backing of Levy - Daily Express
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox

As a Brit living in the US, I'm constantly trying to convince my baseball / basketball / American football-loving friends and colleagues that real football is the most wonderful game in the world. The typical response from them is to suggest that football isn't a real sport because at the slightest whiff of a tackle, players fall to the ground as if they've been shot. Nimrods like Dida make my on-going quest almost impossible.
Some advice for Scott Dustan . When it doubt, mention the name Marion Jones.

If Roy Keane used to prepare mentally for a game against Arsenal and Patrick Vieira OVER A WEEK before the game as reported, let's have some sympathy for the poor sods under the yolk of Rafa the Mighty, who only find out if they are in the squad, according to Sami Hyypia, 90 MINUTES before kick-off! When I played amateur football (remember that?) many years ago the team would all be looking forward to the game from at least the day before.
We will pass on the concerns of Alan from Johannesburg, but we suspect Rafa won't listen to him any more than he does Stevie G or Fernando T

Sometimes you just say it better than we do, which is why we've dedicated a small corner of this e-mail to your views and boos. Feel free to send us your opinions to sport@timesonline.co.uk

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Tomorrow's news today

- Captain Courageous ready to put his body on the line
- Gerrard defends Rafa's regime
- Nolan ponders future

And expect...

Jermain "The Hulk" Defoe to be handed an all-green training top, complete with inflatable muscles and ripped shorts.

Spread the word. It's like pyramid selling, but without the hassle and we don't pretend it will make you a penny. Click on the following link if you (or your friends) want to subscribe to this newsletter:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2187217.ece

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