AHEAD OF THE GAME
Alpha mail. The only truly useful football e-mail
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Monday, October 22, 2007. 1600 BST
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The news in 60 seconds
CLATTENBURG CLANGER
Following the dignified example of Brian Ashton, the England rugby coach, David Moyes accepted defeat in the Merseyside derby with good grace, despite a controversial decision by the referee ... sorry, we forgot - this is football. Mark Clattenburg has been left off the referees' list for this weekend's matches after the Everton manager launched a tirade against his decision-making.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article2716956.ece
DIDA DUCKS BAN
AC Milan's melodramatic goalkeeper Dida has had his two-match ban reduced to one. The goalkeeper was punished for breaching Uefa's "principles of loyalty, integrity and sportsmanship" when he went down like he'd been shot after he was approached by a Celtic fan, but the governing body has decided that the offence is only half as serious as it was two weeks ago.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/european_football/article2715561.ece
DROGBA AIN'T BROKE
Petr Cech says Didier Drogba is committed to "broken" Chelsea - despite his latest temper tantrum. The forward spat his dummy out of his pram last week, but the goalkeeper says he's only interested in how Drogba's feet do the talking (and he was pretty eloquent against Middlesbrough).
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article2709552.ece
'STAN' STANDS GROUND
Steve Staunton is refusing to go quietly into the night. The Ireland manager is expected to get his marching orders this week after his team failed to qualify for Euro 2008, but he has turned down the FAI's offer of departure by "mutual consent" and will fight for every Euro he's owed.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2709866.ece
BECKHAM SEASON OVER
David Beckham's season went up in flames after LA Galaxy were beaten 1-0 by Chicago Fire. The star-spangled midfield player managed 33 minutes but couldn't stop his team-mates slumping to a defeat that cost them a place in the MLS play-offs.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/us_sport/article2711966.ece
DIARRA DILEMMA
Lassana Diarra is getting itchy feet at Arsenal just months after leaving Chelsea because of a lack of opportunities. "I'm not stupid. If I come to Arsenal and my situation is the same as at Chelsea, then I should have stayed at Chelsea," he told The Times. "If I come to Arsenal, it's to play." As we're assuming he doesn't mean in the Carling Cup, he could be on his way.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/arsenal/article2709643.ece
BANNER BAN
What would happen if the FA copied the example of its Italian counterparts? Inter Milan have been fined £20,000 for displaying "offensive" banners including slogans such as "Naples, the sewer of Italy". Gabriele Marcotti wonders whether it's political correctness gone mad.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/columnists/gabriele_marcotti/article2709582.ece
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If you've got another couple of minutes
'ARRY FOR ENGLAND?
Is this the most outrageous suggestion since Steve McClaren was put forward for the job of England head coach? In this week's Game Debate, Tony Cascarino says that 'Arry Redknapp should be the next man in the hot seat if England fail to qualify for Euro 2008.
Replacing McCrackers with a man who's bought more lemons than a geriatric greengrocer may look like another piece of dodgy business, but signing Marco Boogers and Rigobert Song is nothing compared to playing Joleon Lescott at left back in a vital Euro 2008 qualifier.
And is there an English manager with better coaching credentials? At West Ham United, 'Arry helped nurture three of the present England squad - Rio Ferdinand, Joe Cole and Frank Lampard - while he has shown he can move with the times by guiding Portsmouth to fifth in the Premier League. The only thing stopping him, according to Cascarino, is a smear campaign.
What do you reckon? Is Harry the answer to England's problems?
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/the-debate-redk.html
THEGAME PODCAST
In TheGame Podcast, Guillem Balague and Gabriele Marcotti try to work out why England players go to pieces like a jigsaw in a box as soon as the pressure is on. After the ignominious retreat from Moscow, it should be essential listening for Steve McClaren (and the next England coach). The gang go a step farther than most and put the squad on the psychologist's couch as they talk to an expert about England's mental frailties.
The dynamic duo are joined by Tony Cascarino, who wants to know why Rafael Benitez substituted the second best player in the Premier League in the Merseyside derby. Balague, an authority on the Spanish influence at Anfield, thinks he knows the answer.
The team also stir the Scottish broth as they wonder why football is undergoing a renaissance north of the border. Cascarino played in the SPL for Celtic but he's as baffled as the rest of us. Online from 6pm.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_video/podcasts/thegame/article2645945.ece
WHOLE NEW BALL GAME FOR ROONEY
What will the England rugby and football stars talk about, we wonder? In a party that sounds more like a wake after the last week, the nation's football flops are set to join rugby's nearly men at a bash to celebrate Josh Lewsey's testimonial. Wayne Rooney, who's going to have a keepie-uppie contest with Mark Cueto, should at least have plenty to discuss with the rugby boys at Old Trafford next month. Such as giving away silly penalties and controversial, campaign-changing refereeing decisions.
Still, Rooney is likely to be on his best behaviour. Andrew Sheridan is planning a demonstration of his bench-pressing skills, complete with a "human sacrifice". We don't know whether Will and Harry will be attending. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/rugby/article2716548.ece
WENGER'S BIRTHDAY
If teetotal Jonny Wilkinson can let his hair down to go out on the razzle, surely Arsene Wenger can loosen his side-parting to celebrate his 58th birthday? Apparently not. Wenger, who is staying in tonight with a glass of wine to watch Newcastle United play Tottenham Hotspur, has said that all he wants for his birthday is a decent performance against Slavia Prague. That sounds about as much fun as a celebratory bash between England's dejected rugby and football stars (with Lewis Hamilton as special guest), so Ahead of the Game has come up with some ideas for presents. For a start, we reckon the Gallic general could do with a big bag of cotton wool with which to wrap up Cesc Fabregas, while we surely won't be the first to suggest a monitor for his dugout, so he can see those contentious decisions. The European Cup, one of those things money (or an immaculate scouting network) hasn't been able to buy, would also be nice, while a copy of The Times rich list could help him find a billionaire to bankroll the signing of a decent goalkeeper. And if the players are really struggling for party ideas, they could always play pin the tail on Philippe Senderos.
Got any better ideas? Send them to sport@timesonline.co.uk
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18
Number of minutes Lassana Diarra has played for Arsenal in the Premier League this season. He has played 180 minutes for France in competitive matches.
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A quickie before you go, sir?
FREE PREMIER LEAGUE HIGHLIGHTS
Watch Craig Gordon's outrageous own goal, Steven Gerrard throw himself to the ground to win that penalty, Phil Neville pull off a full-length save, 'Arry's men march on and Arsenal continue their winning ways. Premier League highlights from all the matches, free of charge.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/article2236741.ece
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>>>>>THE TABLOID SCANDAL<<<<<
Sven gave me £10k when I became lover - News of the World
What you need to know: 1) The Svengali of Love is going through Manchester mums like Elano cuts through opposition defences. 2) His latest conquest, cleaning lady Saima Ansari, has spilled the dirt on their bizarre fling after discovering he has been using her as a substitute for another yummy mummy. 3) Although the Swedish smoothie had a deft first touch in the bedroom, he used to drive her mad with his obsession for "tidy" sex - he would fold his expensive clothes before bedding her and comb his hair between romps. 4) He was so worried about being rumbled on his dates that he would swap his Armani suit for a shell suit and flat cap when the two went out on the town.
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In TheGame
In Fanzine Fanzone, our Man City man admits he's starting to get bored with all these humdrum, routine victories. Ric is longing for the heady days of farcical defending and shot-shy strikers that preceded Sven's cool reign. Well, almost. Elsewhere, Derby County may have been relegated by the bookies, tabloids, message boards and Nostradamus, but Chris Smith, our Rams fan, still dares to dream.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/fanzine_fanzone/
Bill Edgar explains why Williams is the most popular name in Wrexham as he gives his unique statistical take on the weekend's action.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/weekend-in-numb.html
Two penalties and a couple of sending-offs may have had David Moyes spitting bricks, but it's small beer compared to these classics. In the latest of our series of Greatest... we look at the top Merseyside derbies.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/the-greatest-me.html
Alan Carr thinks John Hartson's decision to move to Norwich City has more to do with the half-time pies than his hunger for the game. See who's hot and who's not in the Topical Barometer .
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/alan-carrs-to-2.html
In this week's QA, Terry Christian tells Kaveh Solhekol why radio rival Alan Green sounds like a sweaty man in a brothel when he commentates on Liverpool.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/qa-terry-christ.html
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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* Foot of Gord: Craig's freak own goal saves Curbs - The Sun
* He must have run over a Black Cat: Gordon's bad luck - Daily Mirror
* Moyes fury at clear-cut injustice - The Daily Telegraph
* Mersey Mayhem - Daily Mail
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox
David (I never speak about referees) Moyes' comments are a disgrace from a so-called PL manager. To question the integrity of an official, whether he thinks the decisions are right or wrong is totally out of order. Here's hoping the PL hand out a lengthy touchline ban.
Get over it Moyes. Talk about bitter...
Tony is from Merseyside. We're guessing the red half .
Time to bring in European referees - too many of ours are "homers" when it comes to certain top teams and it stands out a mile. Everton should have had two penalties - the rugby was not due to start until much later in the day.
We'll give Dave from Flintshire the benefit of the doubt and assume he was talking about bias rather than which team the ref plays for.
Sometimes you just say it better than we do, which is why we've dedicated a small corner of this e-mail to your views and boos. Feel free to send us your opinions to sport@timesonline.co.uk
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Tomorrow's news today
- Arsenal and Manchester United look to build on perfect starts in Champions League
- Rangers aiming to prove they are no soft touches for Barcelona
- Oldest club in the world prepares to mark 150th anniversary
And expect...
Sven to return the flat cap to Wayne Rooney and thank him for the disguise.
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http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2187217.ece
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