Ahead of the Game: Joleon's the man

AHEAD OF THE GAME

Alpha mail. The only truly useful football e-mail

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007. 1600 BST
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The news in 60 seconds

JOLEON'S THE MAN
So, Mr Lescott, your qualifications. Centre-back for Everton, a couple of good seasons with Wolves and one international appearance, as a substitute, although you didn't play particularly well. Splendid, you're playing left-back for England tomorrow. On a plastic pitch. Good luck.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2666375.ece

LAMPARD LEFT OUT
Poor Frank. His marriage had a little trouble in the summer - yes, allegedly - then his Special boss departed and now Steve McClaren has assigned him to the bench. Again. Not his finest few months. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2666356.ece

JOSE FOR ENGLAND?
How will the FA act if the Russian mission runs aground? Quite possibly by calling the Special One in from the cold, if our intelligence is correct. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2666391.ece

FERNANDO FIT AGAIN
Not a good day for Phil Neville. First Lescott beats him to an England place and now Fernando Torres is ready to don his Alice Band in the Merseyside derby on Saturday. The Spaniard has recovered from the abductor injury he suffered training with Spain.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/liverpool/article2670659.ece

GIGGS DEAL
Sixteen years after Ryan Giggs made his Manchester United debut, the oldest winger in town has signed a year-long contract extension that ties him to the club until at least 2009.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_united/article2671668.ece

CORRECT INDEMNITY
The FA have increased their insurance indemnity on players' injuries to £100,000 a week. The Soho Square suits insist the hike is not due to the likely grated knees and blistered feet out in Moscow.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2669137.ece

BYE, BYE BIANCHI
Rolando Bianchi says he could leave Manchester City if he does not break into the first team by December. "I don't like playing five or ten minutes of games," the Italian moaned, unaware Sven loved the same quality in Darius Vassell.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/manchester_city/article2670494.ece

CHIMBONDA CONTRACT
Tottenham have started negotiations with Pascal Chimbonda to extend his contract. Courted by Chelsea in the summer, the French right-back is one of the few Spurs players not to have recently agreed a new deal.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/tottenham/article2670603.ece

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>>>>> FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS <<<<<
* Register today for PlayTheGame - with more bite than Moscow
* It's free and you can still enter
* Win monthly prizes and tickets to the Euro 2008 final
* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes

Few things help AotG survive the day more than the expertly drilled female presenters who anchor Sky Sports News, so it was sorry to hear that Claire Tomlinson has taken a break from presenting due to stress. Informed, polished and a genuine fan - she recently cancelled plans to follow Spurs to Cyprus, for goodness sake - Tomlinson was reportedly carpeted by Sky bosses for not apologising to viewers after the Derby County keeper Stephen Bywater uttered the c-word live on air. A bad mistake perhaps but no worse than choosing Bywater to interview. This is the orator who repeated the singular chant "go on, dildo" and urged viewers to "get their rat out" after the Championship play-off final. Come back soon, Claire, we miss you.

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50
Goals that San Marino have conceded in their Euro 2008 qualification campaign. They've scored one.
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A quickie before you go, sir?

Bryan Gary Habana has sprinted to the top of the rugby world but, if his father Bernie had had his wish, the lightning-quick Springbok winger might have taken a different career path and would be burning up the Old Trafford turf. A keen Manchester United fan, Bernie named his son after club legends Bryan Robson and Gary Bailey, which more than justifies the inclusion of this incredible footage of Habana racing a cheetah. England rugby fans will be relieved to discover the animal just about keeps pace: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/rugby/

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>>>>> THE TABLOID SCANDAL <<<<<
Two-way mirror reflects badly on 'spies' - Associated Press
What you need to know: 1) Two unnamed gentlemen were found watching a Danish team meeting at the Women's World Cup from behind a two-way mirror. 2.) The men were holding video cameras. 3.) The Danes made no official complaint. 4.) In fact, the girls were said to be quite flattered.
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In TheGame

Tackling the Frank Lampard Debate in The Game Podcast, Tim Lovejoy says he never booed a player on a team he supports, though he did laugh at Winston Bogarde. On a more pious note, Times funny man Andy Zaltzman suggests faith unfairly aids performance and the authorities should test footballers' religious convictions. Plus, stats guru Bill Edgar reveals which English midfielder returned the worst figures against Estonia (they're embarrassingly bad).
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_video/podcasts/thegame/article2645945.ece
In QA, Ricky Tomlinson posits perhaps the most penetrating case yet for the dismissal of Steve McClaren. "You can ride two horses with one arse," argues Ricky, claiming that McClaren's role as assistant to Sven should have precluded his promotion to the Big Job. http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/qa-ricky-tomlin.html#more
Resident travel experts Steve Keenan and Ian Belcher have compiled a five-minute guide to Moscow. They suggest England fans making the trip should pack a trunkful of dollars and prepare for a vodka-sinking party city.
http://travel.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/travel/destinations/europe/article2664528.ece
Martin Samuel has sparked another impassioned Game Debate, with readers divided on whether Sven's success at Manchester City spells trouble for English managers. Be sure to say your piece.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/the-debate-is-e.html

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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* Rio: End my Euro Pain - The Sun
* Hiddink blasts McClaren - Daily Mirror
* Lay off Owen, says Shearer - Daily Mail
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox

"Man City could be a bigger club than Chelsea with Sven at the helm. Transfer fees seem to be two-tier now depending on the size and stature of the club. Henry goes to Barca and the fee is less than Bent going to Spurs. Torres was a relative bargain too if you look at the transfer fees Liverpool recouped when selling Bellamy et al to lesser clubs. City have a good ground, a wealthy benefactor, a strong support and a big name manager. Add a cut-price Michael Owen to the current squad and you've got the makings of a top four club for sure. You'll know they are really getting there though if they then flog Samaras to Middlesbrough for the same money they spent on Owen." Perhaps, Kevin , but surely even Boro wouldn't employ Samaras.
"England have suffered in the past because the manager has often automatically selected the 'big name' players without giving enough thought to blending a cohesive team. Dropping Lampard is a good thing but we should all remember that McClaren only discovered the Gerrard/Barry combination by accident - his hand had been forced due to injuries. Yet he still takes credit for it. Brilliant!" Poor McClaren, nobody will ever praise him, not least Luciano from Bristol .
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Tomorrow's news today

- Terry: I'm fit and ready
- Cascarino on why McClaren must stay positive
- Bill Edgar's brilliant statistical analysis of England v Russia

And expect...

News to emerge that, in an attempt to simulate fully conditions in Moscow, England players spent a night man-marking glamour models in a baroque Mayfair nightclub.
Spread the word. It's like pyramid selling but without the hassle. Click on the following link if you (or your friends) want to subscribe to this newsletter:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2187217.ece

ROBERT DINEEN

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