Ahead of the Game: PLASTIC PRACTICE

AHEAD OF THE GAME

Alpha mail. The only truly useful football e-mail

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Monday, October 15, 2007. 1600 BST
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The news in 60 seconds

PLASTIC PRACTICE
Guus Hiddink, the Russia manager, insists the artificial pitch at the Luzhniki Stadium will not give his side an advantage against England on Wednesday. He expects Steve McClaren's side to get all the practice they need on the plastic playground at the Blessed Thomas Holford Catholic College in Altrincham (http://bth.trafford.sch.uk/new/index.php). http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2663179.ece

YOUNG CALL-UP
McClaren has called up Luke Young, the Middlesbrough right-back, to provide cover at, um, left-back for England's big night in Moscow. The England manager had his hand forced because Ashley Cole is injured and Phil Neville is Phil Neville. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2659268.ece

NO WATER TORTURE
McClaren has asked Russia not to soak the Luzhniki Stadium pitch overnight. The England manger is worried because Spartak Moscow confused Celtic by wetting the synthetic turf before their Champions League tie. The hosts left the pitch bone dry for training. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2658642.ece

IRELAND: HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW?
Stephen Ireland may quit international football because his team-mates have taunted him about an alleged hair transplant or hair piece. Irish journos report that Ireland withdrew from the squad that faced Germany after players noted the midfielder's thickening mop, pinned him to the ground and checked for evidence of a wig.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/euro_2008/article2659431.ece

SISSOKO MUST BATTLE
Rafael Benitez has told Mohammed Sissoko not to give up his fight to win back a first-team place at Liverpool. "I have confidence in him," Rafa said, a week after culling the midfielder from the squad. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/premier_league/liverpool/article2661701.ece

SIDIBE ASSAULT
Mamady Sidibe is receiving treatment at his club Stoke City after fans attacked him and Fredi Kanoute following Mali's victory 2-0 in Togo. According to Jean-Francois Jodar, the Mali coach, "there was blood everywhere". http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/football_league/article2662721.ece

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>>>>> FANTASY FOOTBALL WITH BRAINS <<<<<
* Register today for PlayTheGame, with more body than Ireland's barnet (even his new one)
* It's free and you can still enter
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* http://www.timesonline.co.uk/playthegame
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If you've got another couple of minutes

GRANT'S LICENCE
Now, AotG has crammed. It's (barely) passed school exams after a night of sweat, fluked a degree in a productive panic and scored a journalism diploma in a couple of months flat - funny how it doesn't show, huh? Yet Avram Grant will shortly surpass each achievement if a rumour on the mill is true. Word has it the new Chelsea coach will gain his pro-licence Uefa badge with a two-week programme in Tel Aviv in February. Had he stayed in England, the Israeli would have spent a year with the FA studying modules that include season-long strategy, interpersonal skills and how to lose gallantly in the knockout stage of a major tournament.

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14
Number of times Joe Cole beat an opponent against Estonia; Shaun Wright-Phillips did so twice.
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A quickie before you go, sir?

REY IS FREE-KICK KING
Forget David Beckham. Scrub Roberto Carlos. Andrea Pirlo? Pah! On the evidence of this footage from Venezuela's win over Ecuador yesterday, Jose Manuel Rey is the best dead-ball specialist in the world. Watch and marvel as the defender's brilliant shot from close to the halfway line clears the wall, dips over the keeper and sends the possibly biased South American commentator into baritone whoops of delight. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CA7fdmdXRT4

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>>>>> THE TABLOID SCANDAL <<<<<
Jose 'had two other affairs' - The Sun
What you need to know: 1) Jose Mourinho faces claims he had two more affairs to add to the recently revealed tryst with shop girl Elsa Sousa. 2.) Carolina Salgado, the former girlfriend of the president of FC Porto, wrote of the covert couplings in the first draft of a new book - but omitted them from the final edition. 3.) The Special One romps to Bryan Adams (no, not Summer of '69). 4.) AotG had no idea Mourinho might rotate lovers as frequently as his back four. Allegedly.
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In TheGame

Gabriele Marcotti sparks rather more of a debate than he intended in TheGame Podcast when he puts it to Tim Lovejoy, host of 606 and former front man of Soccer AM, and Andy Zaltzman, Times comedian (!), that religion in football is performance enhancing. Guillem Balague and the rest of the crew also speculate about which players are committed advocates of hypnotherapy as a performance-enhancing practice. Ready to download from 6pm. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/audio_video/podcasts/thegame/article2645945.ece
In the new Game Debate, Martin Samuel argues that Sven-Goran Eriksson's success at Manchester City will make Premier League chairmen think twice before employing an English coach, particularly Alan Curbishley. http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/the-debate-is-e.html
Walter Gammie, our resident non-League expert, visits Leighton Buzzard, rising stars of the British Gas Business midlands division who recently suffered trouble on the terraces. According to Walter, Bedfordshire blood spilled, the police arrived and, yes, the hatch on the club bar came down.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/leighton-a-vict.html
In his weekly Fiver, Tony Cascarino highlights five pertinent events from the weekend, including the epoch-defying PA announcement at Lansdowne Road that "West Germany" made a substitution in the 0-0 draw with the Irish Free State ... sorry, the Republic of Ireland.
http://timesonline.typepad.com/thegame/2007/10/tony-cascarin-1.html

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>>>>>THE RIVALS<<<<<
* All tights on the night... Robbo dressed for plastic - The Sun
* This is the greatest test since our Soviet Union days - Daily Mail
* Lamps will tough it out - Daily Mirror
* McLeish heads to Georgia without key players - The Guardian
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Joe Bloggs' Soapbox

"I think that Eriksson's success is a good thing for English managers. It is a timely reminder (a blueprint almost) of what is required to be a good manager. Improve your contacts and your scouting network for starters, Eriksson had loads of money but through his contacts he was able to get players like Elano and Petrov. His success ensures that any young English manager who wants to succeed has to bring his A game. Success breeds success, it's up to the likes of Steve Bruce and co to rise up to this brave new world of football management." Baller84. Nice point. Not sure if Bruce is the best man to lead the revolution, though.

"McClaren is wrong to say there is no difference [between performances on grass and on a synthetic surface]. Spartak's goal against Celtic would have gone wide had it been on a grass pitch - the spin the ball took when it hit the surface took it in. Spartak also had a chance in the second half which was headed into the ground. Again, had it been on a grass pitch, it would have resulted in a goal, only the ball bounced over the crossbar." Ballycastlebhoy, Antrim. Paul Robinson, you have been warned.

Sometimes you just say it better than we do, which is why we've dedicated a small corner of this e-mail to your views and boos. Feel free to send us your opinions to sport@timesonline.co.uk

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Tomorrow's news today
- Revealed: the England team to play Russia
- Sir Bobby Robson on fighting cancer

And expect...
Steve McLaren to ask David Pleat, manager of Astroturf-era Luton Town, to brief England on the pitfalls of playing on a plastic pitch. Call it artificial intelligence.

Spread the word. It's like pyramid selling but without the hassle. Click on the following link if you (or your friends) want to subscribe to this newsletter:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article2187217.ece

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